Self-portrait: Ray of Light

Self-portrait: Ray of Light

Each human has a story. Each living thing has a past. However, we as persons are the only ones who feel obligated by the society to tell, to write, our origins and how we have grown up. I have been dealing with this text since I created this new site. I made a research in other webs and I have found that even in some blogs or sites from famous owners or remarkable bloggers not all the people tell the story of their lives. Though, I decided that I must tell things about me I am not going to do it in a traditional way.

The only things that I am going to tell you in this species of introductory prose are the next. My name is Esther López (you can add the accent or not but please, never forget the H) and I love to tell stories. I know that not all the people in this planet share with me the same sense of humor that I have and I also know that a lot of people really wants to be “very serious” and use this kind of sites like their portfolio of their work. However, I am not going to hide my past. I tried to be the “serious” kind of people who shows all the merits, studies and professional work in a very aseptic format that it is common applied to get a job. I have studied so many things that it is true, but some people in this planet does not have the fault that we are like sponges and we try to learn of everything and of all.

In 2010, after have finished my studies in Audiovisual Communications (a fancy name to say studies in Mass Media, Sociology and Advertising)  and Filmmaking; and after I have met some interesting people in Los Angeles (California), I did not really know what to do. I was a bit lost because the common sense says that you should look for a job, to be hired, to work hard… until to be promoted until you can have more freedom to do what you want. But I had to learn that this “common sense” it is not always applied to all the labor conditions and in some professional sectors it is not you who look for been hired for a job. You are, in fact, the kind of person that creates your own job and the only that you do is wait, fight and push yourself harder to see if your job one day deserves to be paid or almost, somebody decides that it has some quality and it is good enough to have some merits. Some people classify the other people like me as “artists” because we do not follow the normal conduct patrons that marks the society. However, I am a part of this few minor that thinks that there is nothing “normal”, there is always exceptions between everything and everybody and for this reason an “artist” it is not only a person who does  not look for a normal job and be comfortable paid knowing that each month it is going to have some income. An artist it is a title that a worker must win because his work is so extreme magnificent that it arrived to the category of art. For example, a shoe maker. Haven’t you never heard that some shoe designers do not make shoes if not artworks? Although, do not think that I learned that lesson so easy…

Three years ago I had the firmly believe that if I could show to the world, to some people, all the knowledges that I had in my head I could get a job as assistant, or maybe an internship, in a company that worked in the mass media, in the film industry, in some newspapers or magazines… To be honest I wanted what in the school taught me: that I needed a mentor. So, I sent several letters to all kind of film directors, producers, directors of photography, agencies… simply to try to get a job, and to try to have the opportunity to learn more. But of all that letters and of all that time invested, only I got an answer of one director telling me that he was very busy to accept anybody in charge but that he encouraged me to keep working hard.

I have always loved the photography and to me, to try to get a job in any department that has some creativity and relations with cameras was my dream job too. So I tried in that field too but it seemed that I was not good enough to be hired neither. So, I thought that maybe it was time to do the things by myself and this is what I am trying to do. I have never been interested in be in front of the cameras, in fact, I do not like. But life has unexpected turns. I felt the necessity that I needed a reel and between the lack of people who offered voluntary to pose I decided to use myself as a model and make a series of self-portraits, which you can see here, in the sequel of this blog.

I have also a huge childish imagination I decided that maybe I could publish what I use to write. Always with the purpose to tell the people that I have creativity and that I can do things. Or with the intention to talk and help some people who has troubles with some kind of things.  It was something new when I started in that times and I was criticized… a lot. But, like Andy Warhol said when people started to critique him when he created the Marilyn Monroe paint series: “No one else did it before.”  However, not everything was so simple apart of the blames and critics. Maybe I have met the wrong people in my life or maybe, some people envies so much; that they cannot tolerate that others try to have a bit of something. One year ago, I had to cancel my old blog and my filming project because some people decided to bully me, hack my systems and create a huge mess and chaos. They threatened me with kill me and they made me feel so bad that I really wished to die because they stole what I most cared, my dreams.

I cancelled everything, I closed all the blogs and I went to live to a remote place. I fell very sick, I almost die, and all this people who said that they loved me they did not remember me. But the worst was not this, the worst was that this people who threatened me found me and they started to do the same. So, I decided that hide in a cave was not going to set me free of this people. Maybe I must carry with them my whole life but they are not going to control me and let that I could not show to the world my passions, what I do and what I like. So, if sometimes you check my Twitter account and you read crazy things. Well, now you know why.

But if you also check my posts in the both sites: Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Heart Club Band and you find something familiar… Maybe you will understand why because in my search for a mentor I shared with some people, with some artists, part of my work and they adopted it as they have wanted. And I have not been paid or I have asked them nothing for that. It is fine.

I hope this part of my life will help others in the same situation to keep going and to never give up.

With peace and love,

Esther López

PS: And about the rest of my personal story, my projects and my works. You can check the links bellow or read the tales that I write. I hope you enjoy them and you like.

Writer’s blog: Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Heart Club Band

Original filming idea and environmental care project: Worldless

Frequent Questions:

1. Why have you named your site Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Heart Club Band?

I have very good feelings each time that I hear this album from The Beatles. It helps me to forget all that I do not like. So I wanted that my site became for the audience a place which they could enjoy another world full of entertainment as the old cartoons of Sgt. Pepper on Yellow Submarine movie was. This only pretends to be an eclectic place where people can enjoy a different point of view of the crazy cartoonish world in which I live.

2. Do you know that The Beatles album it is called Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band and you missed and S?

Yes, I know it. I changed a bit the name for legal reasons.

3. Why do not use another name then?

I thought about it a lot… It could be named Cinnamon and Apples, Cupcakes and Cashmere, The Sartorialist… But I had the bad luck that all that names were already taken.

4. Talking about apples… Which is the mysterious obsession that you have with this fruit?

Good question. But I do not have the answer. Since sometime ago the apples follow me and I feel like they are throw it at me like the Apple Bonkers did in the Yellow Submarine film.

5. Are you kidding me?


6. I have written you several comments, e-mails, tweets, messages… and you have not answered me. Are you ignoring me?

Not really. Well, maybe… It depends of you. Let me explain myself just a bit. Unfortunately, I have a delay of several months in my inbox. I try to answer/ retweet as much as I can but sometimes everything gets lost in this crazy virtual world. However, one of the biggest disadvantages of this new communication era is that the abuse of over communication not only can make that important messages get lost, if not that our minds get constantly bombed by superficial content. If your kind of comments/ messages… are like: “I’m enjoying a lot your site.” or “I like this.” or “I will try this trick too.”… I am not going to answer you because, honestly, I do not know what you expect that I tell you. So, THANK YOU VERY MUCH TO ALL THE PEOPLE WHO MAKES THIS KIND OF COMMENTS in advance. Please, make meaningful comments if you really want an answer and if you send e-mails and I do not answer you do not get depress. Please, be patient first, and if you see that in 2-3 months I have not answered you send an e-mail again. Even one at month it is completely fine, more of that… Well, I probably will send you to the banning folder. UPDATE: Unfortunately and thanks to some impertinent people comments are closed. My apologize to the rest of nice folks around the globe.

7. I am following you for long but you do not follow me back. What should I do?


Actually, I follow who I know or who I decide it is appropriate to follow. Even if you have a blue tick on your profile that is not a motive enough. So many blue ticks but not so many trustworthy people around.


8. I am in love with you. You are the love of my life. I cannot live without you…

Unluckily for you I have heard that so many times by people who only tried to manipulate me. It is not my intention to hurt your feelings but I want to let you know that I do not have any interest in to have any kind of relationship with anybody. I had to learn in very bad ways that people lies and cheats until the point that my trust magic crystal has became so broken that not even the better superglue on the planet can fix it. I only trust animals because they are not capable to lie. I send love to anybody for equal, even you mysterious admirer, but this does not mean that I would like to have a relationship with you. Just be in synchronize with the good love vibrations, the Force, or… be an animal. Please, do not be a reptile. I do not trust that ones neither. They are tricky.

9. You have blocked me! Why?

Congratulations! This means you have really, really, really, really, really have made me feel bad. For that reason, I do not want to read more your bad vibes. But do not worry, I do not hate you. I simply wish you a peaceful life on the other side: the blocked side. NOTE: Do not think it is easy to upset me. Some of you have really done a good job with it. Thinking about it… It has passed several years. I know. I am quite ignorant always believing people does not really want to hurt. It must be my evil side which always thinks people uses to bring out the best of them, and it is true. The problem is: the best of them is always on the dark side of the Force and they think all the rest are like them. To all these folks: “Thanks for to have really showed me which it is not the path I want to take.”

More questions soon…

UPDATE: 20/02/2016

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