It is my will to inform you this page is going to be closed in the upcoming months.
It is not for a reason of lack of content, neither because I have so much work. In fact, I could still schedule all the content of all the pages as I did before but, simply, I do not want to do it.
It is not because I have any issue in entertain you with my poor work or random thoughts. Actually, I do not really care if you think my stuff is good or not but a series of events in the past months had made me rethink about my virtual presence forcing me to take this decision. However, I must warn all of you. If the situation persists you will see this letter posted at the other two sites too.
A few months ago, I was finishing a screenplay and I would like to quote one of my characters: “We are historians. We love stories.” So, I would like to tell you a story.
I have never believed so much in all this virtual world. Despite I was one of the first ones of my promotion to join Facebook, soon, I saw the invention was great but people did not know how to use it correctly.
To me, social networks are a marketing tool and an easy way to reach audiences which could not be reached before, not a way to be “always” connected with the expectation to see what others say, what they do not and the implied symbolism that these messages can have or cannot.
Social networks are not another thing than a personal television channel which each one has the opportunity to fill with their own content or with the stuff that they more like. The problem is most of the people do not think like that and they only broadcast stupid things which do not have so much sense but people try to find a sense and they start to follow each other without to know so much.
For this reason, I have tried to be different: broadcasting content which I like but which can make people think or to learn about different matters. Of course, I have also broadcasted things to promote my own work but, curiously, not so many people have seen this in the same way.
I have always done this for free, do not be wrong. Even the posts of P&G, Estée Lauder, National Geographic… or a bunch of NGO’s. I have been accused of trying to gain public awareness and followers for to share content of those brands. Well, I have been accused of that and of so many other things, to be honest.
I have done this for free because I do not mind and because for an odd situation in my country I cannot receive benefits for promoting those things. As an example, I can tell you an old man with I know was punished by the Treasury Department because he is a pensioner. He decided to recollect carob beans from some trees which grow up near us and he sold them. It was not more than 5 kilogrammes but it was enough for our government to fine this old man because he did not have a company opened. The bureaucratic nonsense implied to open a company which will cost him more than 12.000 € at year only for to sell 5 kilogrammes of carobs at a year. Our country has called my generation: The Lost Generation and it is not precisely by cultural matters. It is because nobody does nothing to change this legal issues in the right ways for to be competitive with European citizens.
The lack of initiative for to change things arrived until the point most of my fellows from same ages decided to try to find fortune in other countries. Most of them came back with all kind of stories but, the majority of them, coincided on the same: it did not matter how many degrees or titles they had; the only jobs they found or they could get in other places were cleaning hotels, as maids or waiters. Some of these stories come from people who have been sent to the other countries by companies who worked directly with the Spanish colleges. It is hard to understand the difficulties that some other cultures are passing but we have been called The Lost Generation for something.
Going back to all this virtual world and letting aside political and economic matters. Some people cannot see the things clear when to social network principles are involved.
The number of followers started to be irrelevant when they started to turn up the fake profiles and the markets of the buy followers. At the beginning, the numbers were a representation of the potential market that the brand could have. Until the madness started and the world started to treat individuals as brands and they used excuses as the online presence to reject candidates for certain job offers. Obviously, if the search engines required a huge number of followers to make someone “legitimate” and the companies needed that for to hire and to “trust” it was clear the next step it was going to sell fake profiles to increase those brand rankings. Although, if most of these follower numbers are not potential clients and most people have several “fake” accounts because they do not want that the “other” knows what he/she does or with who talks; which is the sense to have more or fewer followers? To feed the personal ego?
It is at this moment when you discover the Internet it is only a big cantina where everybody has an issue against the other and they are throwing insults to one side to the bar to other annoying to anybody who is there to enjoy the time. However, not having enough with this, some people think the Internet it is the perfect place to flirt because I have said it is like a cantina, right?
There is a lot of people lost at these times that they are looking out there some kind of guide or inspiration which it could liberate them from their traumas or suffering. That kind of people use to go after all these people with social repercussion hoping we guide them and we create a better life for them. What those people do not know is WE, sometimes, are so lost and suffering as them.
At this point, I would like to give thanks to some Hogwarts graduates, some muggles, some “wild” creatures and “wild” animal lovers out there. Thank you because all of you have shown me that: “We’re not all the same.”
There is a huge difference between magic people and muggles, or Jedis and the normal people. It was a difference which I had completely lost for external influence. Being quite geek, as I am, one day I would like to write a story located on the Old Republic times when a young Padawan was instructed at the Sith Temple making her believe things which were not right to do not let her known her full potential and, with the ability, to make grow plants. Which is not very Sith like but it is what made her remember why she always loved the light side.
This is the second time that I have opened a virtual “empire” and I have destroyed it. I think I have shown up with this: the numbers did not matter and that I could recover what I had so many times as I want. However, do not think that I am trying to feel superior with this last statement because the reality it is I do not.
Why have I decided to close this if I do not have any issue into post things and I like it, more or less? Because people are using my posts to create madness and chaos with the finality to promote things for their own benefit. So, basically, I am tired to work for others whom later do not have any respect for no one. And with whom I must measure every single word of what I type because if not they are going to find in my text any kind of weird metaphor.
They really are, so many people are lost out there looking for answers and for a guide. I have never had any issue in to talk with them. In fact, I have done it for years with people who I have really met talking face to face with them or online. My problem is with the people who do not show their real dial and who think they are more clever than the rest because they do not show their real identity but, after, they want to form part of my life. I like to be respected and to have my moments of privacy and intimacy and to share them with who I want.
After several years receiving things like: “I love you”, next day “I hate you”, “I want to kill you”, “I need you save me”… I started to doubt myself. I thought I was a simple muggle, but something deep inside of me always knew that all the excuses: “It isn’t me”, “It’s a stalker”, “It’s another person”, “A ghost has possessed my computer”… Were just excuses and that all the non-sense always came from the same place. Anything I posted generated a chain reaction like Domino pieces falling but I have seen them fall for so many times that I can even predict what they are going to do.
Honestly, I do not have an idea of who was the psychology genius who had the idea that: “If you have a problem and you need to talk to someone, invent a virtual profile and talk with a stranger about your problem. It will make you feel better.” That geniality is the responsible of so many issues and “games” which have harmed so many people everywhere.
Most people think “stars”, filmmakers, storytellers… do not suffer from weakness because we do not show them. When, in fact, we feel so insecure, lost… as so many other people around there. The difference between us and you is that we do not use to complain about it. We do not use to talk about it or to share it and, for that, people think it does not happen.
Personally, when my nerves fail me I cannot breathe, I lose appetite, my voice disappears… Actually, it is gone. Not at it is best for so long… but what I am trying to say is we all are humans. We are not perfect and we also suffer.
As you can imagine this state in which if a phone rings I jump it is not good for my health. It makes me unproductive and this, ladies and gentleman, does not benefit to no one.
People will always find an excuse to critic, to complain or to attack. Tricks like: “You don’t have soul”, “You’re crazy”, You’re sick”, attack any physical defect or issue, “You don’t have talent”, “You’re just another psycho”, “You’re a witch”, “You don’t have feelings”, “You’re the problem and the bad”, “You’re playing the victim”… I know I have to learn to bear with those issues but I must not to stand cowards and chickens.
To who will miss this site, my apologies, but if in other times filmmakers could release their work without the necessity of all this virtual stuff. Today it is possible too.
To the people who do not believe in the system and who has recommended me to go for independent all these years. To all those (plural) Academy Nominees who have told me I do not need and agent and that agents and the studio system are the bad guys. I have a question: If those people are so bad why do not you give up to your agents, the people who represent you and the film offers which come from Major Studios? Are not they the bad guys or is it only another trick of the so many that people in our profession try to use to do not let any other could be better than the other one?
I may talk weird for some of you with riddles and words which are not very habitual for your daily dialogue. I may invite you one day and I may say: “Pray, take a sit” and I will attend your requests. After all, it seems each day I must to save someone out there who asks me strange or impossible things.
However, I have something some of you will never have: manners, integrity, decency and a brutal honesty. You do not have two thousand ways to send someone to hell without to say a filthy word. Neither the capacity to create the type of stories that I do but later, you are quick to say they are yours.
I have very clear what I want in my life: “To don’t have to work any day of my life”. I have even more clear what I do not want or with which kind of people I do not want to be.
It has arrived the time to differentiate myself from the majority and the crowd. It is not going to be easy and I could make my mistakes as anyone can do. I may not use the right words or expressions in a language which I love but which is not mine but I am going to do the lion’s share of my work.
Ladies and gentleman who appreciate my content. You could see more pictures on my Instagram account. It has been a pleasure to entertain you and discover you things all this time but do not worry. This is not the end. It is just an abrupt change of the strategy and on the publishing content plans.
May the Force be with all of you. Always,
Esther Lopez Moreno