Fake It Until You Make It

Rowan Atkinson at Bean the film. Picture courtesy PolyGram Filmed Entertainment.

Rowan Atkinson at Bean the film. Picture courtesy PolyGram Filmed Entertainment.

There was a time in which the world was more simple. Apple and Blackberry were only fruits and no one had to worry if for to have a job, in any sector, the CV’s were more original than others, there was more talent or not behind or how many followers or social media influence had that individual. Fact, which it seems it is even important for to get a job like a waiter. Maybe for a cleaner too. Definitely, those past times, which in our days sound like an old legend, were simple.

However, that does not meant they were free of fakers. Those are some sort of people whom has some sort of special gens which certain folks do not share. I call them a special race inside the hominids. If we, for example, are the homo sapiens sapiens those folks should be something like homo sapiens mendacii. Sorry, this is a joke made for only a few whom could understand it.

It is clear. A lot of folks like to dream on their jobs while others dream in to have better job positions. In most cases, that involves fame, glory… More followers than no one, conquer the world spreading an unique ideology or point of view. Sorry, again, I do not want to touch the politics theme again. It is already quite touchy.

For my part, I must confess I am weird too. Not special. In whatever I have helped or not I keep considering myself no one but I like to say I am an Anturil or an otter. Why? Just because that way I make my own marketing and promo to the content which I am developing or I have already developed. It is not anything bad to be called Anturil. Neither otter. Take for example Mr. Bean, he was from other planet and he is one of the most iconic characters. Or Dr. Who… But with that one, I keep without to have clear from which dimensional/space/time thing he is. I am quite messed up with that one. Mostly, because I could not sit to make the appropriate marathon of the series and to get some geek Tardis like fever. The sort of fandom ones. Although it is on my bucket list of things to do in life. What am I going to do? I am weird. My goals are so simple and small that I keep breaking my head against walls asking myself how is it possible I could not have this sort of small pleasures and instead I see myself involved in bigger messes of some sort of squads… Not sure what happened there. Not sure even what has been happening in most of these years since I was at college. It is something that I must to meditate with the Force and to be in communion with Obi Wan and Luke if I want to figure it out. Still, I am lazy, I pass of to know it too. I prefer to follow the otter philosophy: “Swims, whirls and dances. Otters no worries about non-otter things.”

Do you want to really know a storyteller’s secret secret secret? I have been developing several types of stories. In some of them there are humans, in other animals, in other some other sort of creatures. NOT ALIENS! Sorry, folks insist a lot in that.

Rowan Atkinson at Bean the film. Picture courtesy PolyGram Filmed Entertainment.

Rowan Atkinson at Bean the film. Picture courtesy PolyGram Filmed Entertainment.

Well, for all of that, it is necessary to be a bit in character, depending of what you are writing about… You know… But I can confess writers do not use to get possessed in the same way that certain actors use to do. If we are writing about a love story we do not fall in love, neither if we are breaking up on the story we break up. At least, not otters like me. What sort of non otter logic is that? Anyway, the secret secret secret it is: “For me, it is more easy to put myself on the head of an otter or a squirrel, marmots included, and to give to their world a dialog than on a head of a perturbed communist.” I have tried it and I keep on it. It is not done. However it is… Criskypontulocus. Just got that new word. It is fancy.

One of the problems that this virtual times have is that it gives the impression that if you are not constantly posting about what you are doing, working, living… You are not doing anything with your life. Fact, which is absurd but it seems the world works today following this absurdism trend.

From the beginning, when Matt invented that evil platform in which he was going to conquer the whole world. Well, he had already made it. Not sure about his new “super-evil” plans right now but it seems that if someone wanted to put the blame on Gates first for similar things, now is Matt the chosen one. So, I like to have fun with that. It seems the free communications and the helping to spread education are some sort of implantation of the American style of life or… Maybe it should be something even more evil and treacherous behind. Ta da…

When all that face books were invented, I considered them pretty cool because it was the cheap way to contact with people without to have to expend in phone bill. Let’s be honest about it. The problem was someone decided to invent the FB games and all the days I had like 30/40 notifications of people asking me for “eggplants” for their farm, they wanted coins for their “pet society”, someone needed some sort of building things for their “virtual house”, five or four cards which said stupid things and which were sent because when people did they could unblock certain game features… And it arrives a moment that if you say: “No” to all those things you are rude but at the same time not all the people wants to have a decent conversation. Some folks believe that like they have asked you for “eggplants”, for their virtual farm, that is equal to “Hi, how are you doing?” So, I keep wondering if the right answer to that sort of communication is to send them the eggplants plus ask them for corn or peanuts, beans… I have always been confused in which was the right thing which said: “Fine. And you?”

Rowan Atkinson at Bean the film. Picture courtesy PolyGram Filmed Entertainment.

Rowan Atkinson at Bean the film. Picture courtesy PolyGram Filmed Entertainment.

I am exaggerating but do not think so much. In fact, I attended to so many face to face conversations in which one fellow was upset with other for the sort of Fb game request they have sent them or because they have not sent them back. And we were not teens we had a five year degree. So hold on with that.

Then, Fb community experimented some sort of evolution. Like the Pokemons… Fb made the same, and you could start to block people, decide which sort of things the other watched and which sort they did not… Why? Because folks were getting bloody paranoids with the eggplants requests. And not having enough with that, some of them had to be gossiping how many hours at day the other fellow was playing or not because it was impossible that their farms or pets had more things than theirs. Heartbreaking. Who does not want to have Fb friends to compete in stupid virtual races to see who has more things than other on a game?

Still, you know Pokemons not only evolve once. Some of them do it several times and this is what happens with the virtual world: it is a huge massive Pokemon constantly evolving. I have lost my count on the greek alphabet each time they send a new update and they change everything again. You are going to need to make like on the license plates if you keep like that. Do you know it?

Well, techs aside. Not sure from were the new evolving face came because it was not about the sort of “spectacle/artist” profession theme, neither for the eggplants request. This new wave did not had anything to do with the French filmmaking one but they wanted to portrait themselves like if they were like that. First, it started with people whom had some sort of artistic interest or inquietude. Then, it was spread worldwide. The issue: to see who had more followers or “friends” than anyone else. Some, even dared to name that group of people like Armies, others did not know how to use well Matt’s invention and they were desolated after to check they could not have more than 4.000 friends. So they opened new profiles with new accounts to have them all together in several profiles, in which sometimes, folks repeated friendship but not sure why people found that cooler than to open a Fb page. And here, it was the origin of the homo virtualis mendacii which is the evolution of the homo sapiens mendacii but, in most cases, anthropologist have found it is a de-evolution, indeed. There is not anything about sapiens on that species.

Rowan Atkinson and Peter MacNicol at Bean the film. Picture courtesy PolyGram Filmed Entertainment.

Rowan Atkinson and Peter MacNicol at Bean the film. Picture courtesy PolyGram Filmed Entertainment.

That was the start of a new paradox. The one in which it seems everybody was obsessed to get more followers than no one because that was the synonym of to have “influence”. However, it have never meant to have more sells of a product. Still, there was the beginning of this sort of fever or competition which it keeps in certain virtual corners of the hyperspace.

The problem arrived with the periodicity. Some individuals found that for to keep certain number of engagement with their audiences they needed a constant feed which published all sort of things. And on there was the main issue: “which sort of content can certain people publish periodically?” Because even if they were Youtubers, writers, actors, filmmakers… It was necessary to publish constantly, arriving a moment, in which it was not easy to publicise the work or the creation constantly so folks decided to share part of their lives or best moments on that. Until here fine, but what happens when a homo sapiens mendacii notices that? That they say: “Hey! I am a professional lier. What cannot I do that too?” And there it starts the problem of the de-evolution and to want to be a homo virtualis mendacii instead a homo sapiens sapiens which is what the logic and common sense says. However, recently, it has been discovered some individual does not use that two characteristically behaviour things neither.

Some folks could climb the ladder of professional success faster than other partner fellows thanks to that. Then, it started the new era: “Fake it Until You Make It”. And with that, so many folks around the world really believed that to tell any sort of lie about anything, at any cost, with the intention of to improve their economic success, will make their lives better until the point that they will become some sort of huge tycoon or something alike whom does not need to work more on their lives. That was the common believe which changed everything. Not for anything, if not because watching the new formulas it gave the impression that the ones which were constantly posting content, of any sort, were the ones whom were working and doing things while the rest of the world did not. What about if there is the mustelidae species whom dislikes all this virtual stuff? Just for the fact electricity does not work well in water or if you expend the day wet. Has anybody thought about that? Of course not, the homo always think in the homo and not in the conservation of other species. By the way, never confuse an otter with a beaver it is the worst insult ever on the otter lands.

Rowan Atkinson at Bean the film. Picture courtesy PolyGram Filmed Entertainment.

Rowan Atkinson at Bean the film. Picture courtesy PolyGram Filmed Entertainment.

Anyway, do you know what happened with all this sort of faking virtual things? That most of the fakers tend to become easily jealous of any other species whom only work and whom are not thinking in to get more fans. They become scared of to lose… I am not sure what. And then, there is all a repertory of fake profiles inventing all sort of stories, creating memes… In resume, it could be considered bullying. It just depends from the angle in which it is seen. The bullies never think they are harming other. They are just having fun or to making him or her stronger… It seems the fact of to do not know code or to do not share certain points of view, like to support National Geographic’s work, makes one weaker than any other being.

However, time puts each one on our places. It is an old saying, not an imposition or rule. The one whom tried to reach fame and glory with deceiving techniques is discovered because his/her rhythm of production is not the same than the ones whom focus on to work. Why? Because all those online campaigns, to watch what the other does, the bully… Require time. More time than to have to care of the eggplants and beans of the virtual farm. And of course, this is going to be measured too. Just like the gaming to see if s/he is more time than me watching what others do. Then, it arrives some sort of paranoid cycle (please, do not confuse it with the Cycle of Life, little Simbas and Nalas) in which the world gives for granted that: like they are constantly worried in what others are making, others must be doing the same with them. That should be their more logical explanation of why those others -not otters- are not posting because they are like busy bees. So, folks start to make private their profiles and getting paranoid because they believe this others have blocked them or they have limited them for they cannot read all the content that they publish. Has it any sense? It seems if you have turn a homo virtualis mendacii it has, if not, not.

In resume, to fake anything is not good. Sooner or later they are going to catch you and then… Well, attend to what you have been doing all this time. In special if it has been about to spread lies of others, or fictional romances at their backs. So terrible and dramatic is this virtual world… Is it just this otter the otter whom thinks everythings looks likes a bads soaps operas without soaps? Yes, otter was thinking that toes.

On any case, let me confess something personal which I am afraid I have been written before. However, in all this long time story which has been extended for so long, what I cannot say is if I have really shared this or I wrote it on private and someone had been lying about it to the whole world.

Rowan Atkinson at Bean the film. Picture courtesy PolyGram Filmed Entertainment.

Rowan Atkinson at Bean the film. Picture courtesy PolyGram Filmed Entertainment.

Depending of who you are, in the moment or context of life in which you coexist with other beings, certain issues happen. For some folks in the world to “dream big” means to have something to put on their mouths at the end of the day. The next “big dream” those same folks have is, when they have could realise that dream, to see if they can repeat it each day of their lives… Next, they think in to can afford something a bit more special for an important occasion… And that is to dream big. However, if you cannot even afford a piece of bread, to start to believe that you are going to rule the world are not dreams aka goals, if not delusions or fantasies. That does not mean that they could not become truth but it is not the normal process of to do the things. Maybe, you will rule the world but you will keep hungry or you will have not covered certain basic necessities which in long term are more important than to have win wins. And I know this very well. Not only by myself if not because I have been making of Fb therapist work for free of so many friends and study partners for so long between the Pokemon style FB evolution of the 4.000 limited friends and the “post content daily” issues. And all of this it has been repeating almost until past year. In the case of some other folks it was cut long ago. Just because they were selling things they were not and they needed someone whom to expend virtual time and to talk. That was my world but… I am afraid, Zuckerberg, I will not accept eggplants request anymore. No offence, techs already know so much at the back of what has been going on.

Rowan Atkinson at Bean the film. Picture courtesy PolyGram Filmed Entertainment.

Rowan Atkinson at Bean the film. Picture courtesy PolyGram Filmed Entertainment.

In other hand, I can also tell you that it seems there are so many self-called dreamers spread around the world but whom made the same dreaming mistakes mentioned before. Just showing my CV on certain filmmaking networks I was asked by several folks if I could write for them: “the screenplay for a short film which will win Sundance the following year.” I can swear I am not kidding at all about this. I have received like three or four messages in that style on these past years. And when folks arrive to you like that, what do you do? I mean, what do you say? “Yes, I am going to make your dreams come truth,” or: “Kid, are you sure of what are you asking?” And do not offence to no one because I call kid to anyone whom is not already an otter or a lion. Well, other species are also addressed like “Krumpt, what are you doing?” So, do not worry for the kid even if you are in your 111st birthday like Bilbo.

No, really, what do you do with those folks? Because I tried to make my best. To have tons of patience… And then, it is why I discovered the Independent filmmaking circle is so wrong. Do you know how many folks dream with to win Sundance? BUT, then, they say “write what you want. I trust you will give me Sundance.” So I wrote and I wrote… Arrived the time it is never the screenplay they were looking for… So, what is this? Cinderella? And we must play the guessing game of which screenplay an author will write the next winner before s/he will ever write it? It is like to pry to see if Cinderella will find her loafer back or not? Just wait to see how the story develops. Do not try to guess it by symbols, metaphors and foretelling techniques. Who do you think you are? Professor Trelawney? Really, it gives you the evil idea of to say: “They are all death! I am making you read all the script for to waste your time. Everything was a dream of someone who had already died or was going to die!” One needs to be very bad in certain storytelling times but it is fine.

Just remember a few things kids:

1.To fake is not good. They will catch you. Do not have doubts.

2. I don’t write screenplays which will win Sundance. I have never done it and I will not.

3. Do not ask for the point 2 or the win “Academy Awards” option anymore.

Rowan Atkinson at Bean the film. Picture courtesy PolyGram Filmed Entertainment.

Rowan Atkinson at Bean the film. Picture courtesy PolyGram Filmed Entertainment.

Be you. And if you are just like friend Mr. Bean, be happy with that but if you fake… The world will notice you not only fell asleep in your job, if not to paint is not your business at all. Keep that in mind.

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