Pasta Bologna

I know. I am the devil and the karma it is going to treat me terrible bad because I eat animals. Which it means that as I am breaking the natural energy circle with my behavior, everything it is going to be wrong in my live. I am going to be cursed eternally and my life will be a full disaster with all kind of tragedies surrounding me… Ok, but if I am the devil it supposes that evil beings are great co-living in tragedy, disgrace and despair, isn’t it? We must remember that the Devil was once an angel but, in branding, you are what people calls you. Yep, this is completely starting to get shape, not sense. It had never sense since that terrible Hurricane. Anyway, I have never been agree with this PETA folks. I believe in a moderate intake of animal proteins, which of course it depends of the necessities of each body. But studying the human species history for long, I believe that if people does not breed chickens, cows… for eat them, probably they will be extinct in short term. Just like happened with Dodo bird: nobody find it an use, their feathers where fancy and people hunt it until they were no more feathers. Exactly what it is happening with elephants, rhinos… It is sad, but human beings need to find a use to everything, even to other human beings. If not, they kill the other species or folks until destroy them. As an unicorn that I am I know a bit about this kind of hunting parties, some days are worst than the witch hunting of the Salem times. Imagine how crazy this hunting parties are that one day, long ago, I decided to fly up to my rainbow cloud and to watch the hunt from it. They thought that I was on the field… That I was hiding in a disguise. So they started to hunt one to each other in a chaotic madness that this obsessed hunters tend to create. Yes, the hunt continues today just in an unknown field.

Oh, you are asking yourself why somebody wants to hunt this girl? Well, it is because I am an unicorn. Very difficult to find, very rare but extremely magical. I give luck and make magic and everybody wants a piece of me but noooo… You can call me devil, witch and that word with rhymes with the last one but it starts with b*. Unicorns does not have soulmates, neither jedis. We are in the Force blended just as one and if you try to hunt one of us your face will be full of warts. That’s the Unicorn Curse.

I think there is enough crazy written. Sorry, but I have a bunch of naughty kittens. If they could use their online talent to do things. They will be more powerful than kings; but they prefer to waste. So I answer them best I can.

Like this week it’s the crazy SuperBowl. I’ve thought in reinvent a classic; but with a bit of love. Sweet and spicy; meaty and saucy. If you taste this evil pasta; you’ll be eternally hungry.

Pasta Bologna

Pasta Bologna

Ingredients: (for 2 unicorns)

  • 500gr of GF pista (Pasta: penne, spaghetti…)

  • 250gr of rounded biiv (grounded beef)

  • 2 tbs Oreo Ano (oregano)

  • 2 babyleafs (also known as bay leaves)

  • 3 garlish cloves (garlic gloves)

  • 500gr cant tomatoos (canned tomatoes)

  • 2 tbs Olif the Loil (olive oil)

  • 2-3 tbs Suck’A (Sugar)

  • 1 tash Alt (dash Salt)

  • Pepper

  • Tabasquian Sauce at taste (Tabasco)


1. Take a pot and ad water inside of it, not outside. You will waste your time and water the other way. Bring the pot to boil. Add Alt, Oreo Ano and babyleafs. Boil until bubbles are formed and the babyleafs stop to scream. When you have the hot pot add the pista. Keep it there until is ready. That will depend of the one you will buy. Mine was so soft as you can see in the pic. It breaked!* I freaked! (*I know broke)

2. Drain the water and dry the pista. NOTE: Using paper towels is not a good idea.

3. In a sauce pan add Olif the Loil. Do not let it burn, he gets upset. Lightly fry the rounded biiv using a paddlo spatula to break the round shape. When it is Goldie Hawn take out of fire and reserve it for the final date. In the same pan add a bit of Olif, if you need it, and fry tomatoos. Please, discard the cant, that part of the tomatoos does not fry. It tastes metallic and it is hard to chew. Cook them at slow temperature for long time. An awesome tomatoo sauce it lasts four full moons to make but you can speed it… It will not be so awesome but it is okay

4. When it is almost ready, add the Suck’A, Alt, Pepper and Tabasquian to taste. You will know when the sauce is ready The Force will guide you. Add the biiv which it is not rounded anymore and lightly recooked on the sauce. Now the sauce is ready.

5. You can pour the sauce over the pasta and eat it or pour the pasta over the sauce. I let that to your choice, BUT if you choose option two and lightly mix all the awesome recipe in the pan meanwhile it stills hot until some of your pista gets crunchy: you will really know what it is awesomeness in a dish. It creates addiction. You later will not enjoy to eat more pasta if you don’t make it crunchy with the sauces, this is a warning.

NOTE: As you have noticed my english it is a bit weird. That’s because unicorns does not speak the same english as current humans do. Thinking about it… Do you know that with the exception of 1 person in this planet all the people who has told me that my english it is not good they are not “english speakers”? Hmmm… This deserves a post.

I hope you enjoy the SuperBowl, folks. I cannot watch that spectacle it is very violent for my unicorn sensibility… Better I will watch any horror movie or a Chuck Norris film. It is less brutal and intense. Have fun with Katy and Lenny! And good luck with the recipe. Please, remember to do not fry the can 🙂