The Art of Talk

Time Circuits. Back to the Future scene. Picture courtesy of Universal Pictures.

Time Circuits. Back to the Future scene. Picture courtesy of Universal Pictures.

Warning Probably most of the younger readers will not understand the beginning of this text. A hard work and research in history is needed and that is boring. So stop reading right now or be ready to be introduced to the mysterious times in which people did not needed cell phones to have a conversation. Some master gurus call it: The Art of Talk…

In the past century when the cell phones were invented not everybody had one. It was something exclusive to people on Wall Street, Hollywood and thinks like that… but the most funny part it is that for carry a cellular phone you had to have arm muscle. That new inventions did not fit in your pocket because they had the size of a house brick. Yes, you could use them as a light weight lift for your daily training because the first ones were about 2kgs weight. They did not permitted text or WhatsApp to anybody and their unique finality was to talk.

Of course, the rest of the mortals which was not raised in Beverly Hills or any fancy places we had another mobile communications methods called the: “Shout Out*.

The “Shout Out” was very popular in small towns or in some local neighborhoods where everybody knew everybody. In fact, the term “intimacy” it is something new invented in the new age era of the 90’s. However, let me explain you how it worked.

As all of us were not constantly connected to a fictional virtual world called internet; the only way to find people with who you wanted to contact was calling the places where you supposed that this person was at that time. For example, you get out of the school and you want to talk with your bestie. You suppose that she will be at her home so you call to her house but it is not she who picks the phone it is her mother. Your BFF is on her bedroom trying the new OMG dress that she is going to wear this weekend when you will go out.

In that crazy times, phones where also stuck in a wall or they cannot move for all the house so simple as we do today. So what the mother of your “sister” will do in that case? First she will answer you, then ask you about what you are calling and, finally, she will “Shout Out” so loud to her daughter: “Come here to the telephone!!! Your BF is calling you to talk about X!!!”; that all your neighbors will know about it. Apply the same rule if you where in a bar, club, in a house of a friend or any other public place. Fun times that ones, in special when you were not in your bedroom and you were outside in the garden or in the street… You see. Privacy? What is that?

Michael J. Fox. Back to the Future scene. Picture courtesy of Universal Pictures.

Michael J. Fox. Back to the Future scene. Picture courtesy of Universal Pictures.

Of course, this is the main reason of why people who has grown up this way it is made with a different wood. We know what it is that your mother irrupts in the bathroom when you are taking a shower because somebody is phoning you: “Is he your boyfriend, darling? If you want to tell me something you can do it.” Although thinking on it better that was not the unique example of awkward situation by disruption. How many of you have ever played to be “rockstars” using a brush as a microphone? Do not tell me that they were not far better than the Shure ones. And your audience… Ha! The best! Teddy bears, fluffy animals, Barbies, dolls or Madelmans. That where the times in which Hollywood only needed Chuck Norris to finish to whole armies, massive destruction armies, terrorist… Only one main actor for a whole film…

Oh! And do you remember that guy who with a gum and a paperclip he could make an explosive or to fix anything. Do not tell me McGiver was not awesome and not like the bloody suckers that are now on television making dramas about who will date who until the eternity. “Oh, Ian… Who could be bitten by a vampire so hot as him” (sights) Then, your BFF answers: “Or Robert… Who could be Bella in love of a Cullen” (Both girls sight).

Michael J. Fox. Back to the Future scene. Picture courtesy of Universal Pictures.

Michael J. Fox. Back to the Future scene. Picture courtesy of Universal Pictures.

It is not cool that a vampire bite you! At least you want to be eternally dead… Ok, you are right. Our movies were more violent in our times… Well, thinking about it better I am not really sure about that… In these early times without mobiles only one actor was enough to destroy a bunch of things and kill all the bad guys. Now, movies need a bunch of guys to destroy a lot of things and they never finish with the bad guys whom they keep showing up sequel after sequel, after sequel, after sequel… These are the new storytelling times.

However let’s make a small jump in time until The Matrix era where the BackStreet Boys where the most awesome boy band in the planet and where everybody started to have a personal cell phone. Everybody, included teens… Unfortunately, I suffered that times in my own skin. Times where the “fashion rules” where dress with sportive clothes the whole day**. That moments in history, where the one who was cooler was the one who more “cool” brands wore, even in the cell phones. That you wear Ralph Lauren, who cares… The cool people wears Nike so get out of here. Of course, that branding stupidity it also arrived: to change the cell phone each year, expend astronomical bills in the phone or to keep checking it constantly even when WhatsApp and Facebook were not yet invented and nobody could send you notifications. Only calls and SMS… Thinking on it better… I am glad to be weird and to be the “posh” Spice Girl, because it was the less cool. Yes! Where is my Beckham?

The Arts of Discrimination became more cruel with the access of Internet for any mortal in this planet and the invention of that virtual evil weapon of brainwashing called Messenger. Some people say Bill Gates is the devil himself for to have invented that but it is hard to believe it because they say now the same of Zuckerberg and it is impossible that it could be two Satans co-living on Earth at the same time…

Christopher Lloyd and Michael J. Fox. Back to the Future scene. Picture courtesy of Universal Pictures.

Christopher Lloyd and Michael J. Fox. Back to the Future scene. Picture courtesy of Universal Pictures.

Anyway… Let’s say that I did not had access to Internet and Messenger until I was 18 years old, meanwhile, the rest of the pals they already had it when they had 16 years old. As you can check in our days: two years without Internet are like two millennia of stupid things that you have missed but which for the rest of the world are “extremely” important.

It was in my 18’s when I started to “connect” with people and to become more “social” because everybody knows that if you do not have the abilities to talk online you are lone. Surprisingly I quick discovered how absurd where that new revolutionary methods of communication in which all the conversations developed in what I like to call “Tun-Ah” conversations. Why? Because you can be online all the day, people is going to tune-in to talk with you but all the conversations end with emoticons, “Ahhh”, “Ohhh” and thinks like that. When more monosyllables “better” is the conversation. However, as weirdos like me we think that this kind of conversations are similar like the ones fishes have. If you do not understand the joke it does not mind… “Tun-Ah

Although not all of this facts mentioned before are the great inventions in communications. No, no, no. The best was yet to come when people decided to abbreviate everything and make acronyms of all. Like, for example:

“Let’s hang o Hollywood. Cool place Highland”
or
 “OMG! Haf u ss TWD? Iz hackles!”
or
“Ive gt 2 g Luv ya CU”

It think you have got it and by the way. I already know that I am a pedant, that my english it is awful*** and that I am not cool at all. I am fine with it but let me confess you something: “I do not understand some of your cool messages at all.”

Michael J. Fox. Back to the Future scene. Picture courtesy of Universal Pictures.

Michael J. Fox. Back to the Future scene. Picture courtesy of Universal Pictures.

Of course, the cherry on top of this big communications messy cake it is not other than the social networks. Any of them, without mercy or exception. I have not logged in Facebook since the past year, which was two weeks ago… I find all that kind of posts which people shares depressing. All are “Tun-A” conversations with tons of malice and “I am better than you”. Great! We will give you all the awards for be best to you if it is what you want. I do not know… Has communication any sense in our days? Where are that coffee conversation after have seen a movie and try to find the inner conflicts of the characters? Ok, you are right… Probably the inner conflict of Optimus Prime it is not so deep and philosophical as the characters in any movie of Jean-Luc Godard but this does not mean to cut down conversations.

There are people out there who only “speaks” via on-line methods (this includes any social network or any chat style where there is not physical touch) Ok, Skype it is a great invention but as all the others it is used terrible wrong. I remember the last Skype that I did with a friend from India, it lasted more than 3 hours long. We were speaking about filmmaking and we did not arrive to any point. I mean, the objective of to have conversations it is to have something important to say, if not, most of them are a waste of time or a “killing” of time because you are bored you do not know what to do and you keep open a conversation which does not go to any place.

Why we say “Hello” when we meet somebody for the first time in a day? For education and to be polite but is not true that if you do not have nothing important to say to that person you keep walking your way? The rest of communications are exactly the same. Sometimes, it can happen that which for you it feels important it is not for the other but when this happens it is much better to finish the conversation, that to keep the other on the loop.

So, please, “New Age” folks and not so “New Age” folks whom have
acquired the same communications vices than the younger ones. When you contact with someone and you say “Hi!” The other is waiting something with more deep not only a “Hi” and half hour later an emoticon, and half hour later another emoticon… That is not to have conversations at all.

Family McFly portrait. Back to the Future scene. Picture courtesy of Universal Pictures.

Family McFly portrait. Back to the Future scene. Picture courtesy of Universal Pictures.

Say something, do not be afraid to express yourself in public and stop with the stupid “Tun-Ah” conversations which do not arrive to any place.

Please, folks, let’s go Back to the Future and let’s going to teach how to express well to all this people whom do not know how too talk or I am afraid our society it will really disappear of the pictures as if the past was only a bad joke.

 

 

 
1 A term that I have personally create to define this old situations and which does not have nothing in common with the dictionary affection of “congratulate somebody”.
2 * Thank you Mel C, from Spice Girls, for that insupportable fashion trend.
3
 But at least I had the honor that the screenwriter of Die Hard 2 said that about my english and not someone who writes police this way: “polize” even if your way of write it is more cool.

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