The Long Journey Towards to Be Respected in Your Profession

The Mask. Picture courtesy New Line Cinema.

The Mask. Picture courtesy New Line Cinema.

On previous chapters… Wait, what are you waiting? A video? Just click on the link. You have so much to read.

However, before to start this second part I must to show my respect and affection to Tom Felton and his lovely and gorgeous girl: Jade, right? Sorry, I am disaster for this things.

Look, you have really inspired me with that “Superfan” thing but I cannot use the same pictures for this text again. It is not that they are not cool. They actually are. It is just… You have not filmed a second part. I cannot help you to promo something you have not done yet! Although, you need a second part because you forgot something in your past documentary. Yes, you did. Do not look with poker face. You know about what I am talking. You completely forgot about some fans. Those people divided the whole world in two teams and you have not even mentioned them. So make a second part: the galaxy will be with you kid. And… “Sorry, Tom Felton” for all the mess which has caused to use your pics.

I know all of you are wondering about which fanbase is this one which was not mentioned. Obviously, that one which was fighting about “Team Edward” or “Team Jacob”. Are not you getting it yet? Well, let me tell you the story of: “How my friends cheated me to watch Twilight.” That… was a very dirty trick.

First, let me remember you that I do not like to know about the last trends. I told you: “I am a mess”. So, the whole world was splitting in two and… I do not remember in what I was thinking but I did not know it.

Suddenly, one of my pals called me. She scolded me because I never get out and all that stuff… and she told me she was thinking to go to watch a film with other pals and later, to dinner out in a restaurant and to talk about the film. I am weird. So, I asked what were we going to watch. She said I would love the movie because it was about vampires. “It is like that film with some of your favorite actors: Tom Cruise and Brad Pitt. You will love it girl. It does not have so much scary things but it is that kind of gothic with very good actors.” I accepted, she even bought the tickets online because it was the premiere and… You know all the excitement some films awake on people? Yeah, that thing…

Cameron Diaz. The Mask. Picture courtesy New Line Cinema.

Cameron Diaz. The Mask. Picture courtesy New Line Cinema.

So, I went to the date. She gave me my ticket, I paid her back and we wait. My two pals were extremely exited talking about this and about that… Do you know this kind of conversations which happen so fast that make you feel dizzy? It was that kind of one… Meanwhile, I was looking for the kind of “balcony” where we were waiting without knowing about what they were talking but observing more people were approaching to wait in line. We went inside the corridor of these big cinemas with several theaters and I started to worry because, omitting some mothers whom were there as guardians, the rest of the audience which was waiting with us where teens: the kind of young spoiled ones. I remember I asked my pals: “Are you sure are we on the correct line?” “Yes, yes, yes. Do not worry. It’s just you. You’re never on the last trends.” “Alright.”

We came inside and we sat. The theater was full. The lights turned off and the film started. It just showed up the credits and some high-pitched screams of excitement crowded the room. Do not worry I am not going to spoil you the film. Let’s just say that if the screams were not weird enough. It was even weirder when moments before Robert Pattison showed up. People (including my pals) started to get out of their pockets their cell phones waiting to his first scene to take a picture of him on the screen. I think the whole audience did it except me.

Suddenly, my memories and my most scary feelings came back to me as a wave flooding every single thought on my mind. I kept the control and I touched my pal’s shoulder and I asked her: “Is he Cedric Diggory?” When she say: “Yes”. I was like: “It can’t be possible…”

I survived to the film and my friends were right. It was F* scary and not for what happened on the screen if not for what happened on the audience seats: the excitement screams, people screaming “I think I’m going to faint” in certain scenes, people taking pictures of the screen and… people reciting, exactly, the same words the actor was going to say seconds before he/she did it. Definitely, to do not happen so much on that film it was the most scary experience with the exception of the Harry Potter event.

Jim Carrey. The Mask. Picture courtesy New Line Cinema.

Jim Carrey. The Mask. Picture courtesy New Line Cinema.

Not happy with that, we went to dinner and to talk about the film. My pals just spoiled me the whole book saga in just minutes and that… about Robert… Sorry, I do not get it. They started to talk about how tall he should be and body… But, you know what happens with people? They tend to exaggerate. She just raised her arm to say how tall but it was like… 2 meters? So, I talked, and I said he is not so tall at all. They opened their eyes so much. I thought my friends were going to have some kind of shock. “HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT?!!” I look for refuge on my french fries and I mentioned THAT Harry Potter premiere. Thanks Lord, some of the other girls who traveled with me to that madness have told to these other girls the story but you can guess what happened next. “Tell me. Tell me more. What happened?” And you are like… “Actually, it does not happen so much: they just walk and people scream…” “Yes, yes, but is he so handsome?” “Well… I can say he is not so shimmery…”

And that’s it. Really… I do not know how I use to find myself on the middle of these weird situations and conversations. But, I am really getting scared of certain people. I mean, those folks said to me that “I was weird and ‘changing’” because I said No to go to watch another blockbuster and I preferred to go by my own to watch a Woody Allen film. See? It is me who has the problem because those pals also came to college with me!

However, let me tell you when my “phobias” to certain people started. It is a “Rocky Horror Show” story…

Everything started a sunny September afternoon: first day on college. You just go to the wrong building and you met another guy with the same problem. You two discover you go to the same class. You go late and you just flee to one side to other until you find the right class. Great! You made it! It happens…

It was only a presentation class: an introduction to what was going to wait us in five years of studies. The professor warned us: “This is Communication and we are here to talk and to work in squads.” But that part about to talk and the team work…

Look, I do not really know how it was the world when only a few had access to a Super 8 camera but, on my times, everybody was fighting to see who knew more than the other: “Because I have THAT camera”, “Because I am filming since I was a teen”, “Because I have studied on the best schools of art and I am working years on this…” There are so much egos fighting and colliding. I came from the music school watching that 10 years of my life and I knew how it was going to end. You cannot put two rockstars on the same room. The heat they create makes supernovas. Everything explodes in messy ways creating a black hole which only devours everything. The problem was that if we were 36 in our class, they were 25 rockstars.

Jim Carrey. The Mask. Picture courtesy New Line Cinema.

Jim Carrey. The Mask. Picture courtesy New Line Cinema.

They were several squads which was created, basically, for the kind of clothes we wore. There was one squad who ruled that men’s style about to wear the jeans bellow the bottoms. I am not sure how they did that but it was quite distracting. In special, because the same folk who was lost with me the first day he had the same surname that I have and, on exams, they sat us closer. He used to stand up like thousands of times to get more paper to write and he always wore white undies with BIG red hearts on it. It was impossible to do not look at it. Anyway, he was not in my squad.

The rockstar we had in my squad was a big pain on the a**. Imagine how was his character that the rest of the squad put me in a teamwork with him because the others could not stand him and I was the most social neutral and pacifist. Do you know what is to have to work with a folk whom only is agree in to do the things as he wants and as he says because he is the “real” genius and not the rest? And you cannot run away. You must work with him: yes or yes.

He used to be very “funny” with that classic pun about to have a: “Merry and Pippin Christmas”. He was deeply affected by the LOTR films and I think he stills making videos in YouTube. He is YouTuber and he wins money with it. I am very glad for him. His genialities included from an interview television show (we recorded it) called: “Tengo una Sepia en la Nevera.” about a mad scientists who tried to revive a creature, like that film of Santiago Segura… Until a short film called “El Naranjal” (where a guy with a huge orange shape mask and only two expressions: happy and angry, protected an orange orchard with a chainsaw. Like in that bloody film with a man, a chainsaw, girl screaming and Texas) which we filmed but he was not satisfied with the work of nobody in his squad. He scolded us and he complained of all of us. He got the footage and I am not sure what he did with that.

With time you start to know better those people with who you are studying and working. You go to the HP Premier, you start to watch Lost and you go to dinner or you prepare trips with them. So many memories you can get… Then, you start to see the true face of those people. You see some of them need pills and others really scare you when they are drunk. You discover people does not understand the difference between: “We have to work and to give our best” and “Now that we have finished we can enjoy some beers and to get drunk if you want”. No, people does not know about that at all.

Jim Carrey. The Mask. Picture courtesy New Line Cinema.

Jim Carrey. The Mask. Picture courtesy New Line Cinema.

When we were in our second year, we had to make a commercial with kids in a school class. I was producer an like the whole cast made him feel upset. They were “disturbing him and the crew”. I took the kids out to the schoolyard and I was playing: “entertaining the cast” all the time. Then, they got tired and I started to tell them my crazy tales and I remember how a shy girl was worried holding my arm. A teacher came to check what we were doing and when she saw it she just went back to her class. I do not know how were the things on set. What I know is kids did not wanted to go to film. Arrived the time, we ordered pizzas and I fed the hungry kids. I had to scold the members of the crew who tried to eat of that pizzas which were not for them. I did not tasted them neither and we finished having lunch at 5 p.m. After, I had to hear that I had not done nothing on the whole day: just play with the kids, tell stupid stories but nothing on set. It is okay. I did not protested for that or for a bunch of more things. I just kept them to myself but when some of these “rockstars” had an emotional issue, guess to who they addressed to talk? I listened them except to the “genius” guy because he always said: “It does not happen nothing.”

Later, the same members of the squad did not had the same version. It seemed he was not “open” to tell me certain things because “I was made of a different wood and it seemed I was not affected for anything.” That hurt me and if I was letting pass all his irrational attacks, ignoring everything, then, I paid heed to him. I put on my place and I did not let him pass a single stupid thing which was not clearly justified. That things about to change screenplays or camera shots in the last minute when we were losing time with his decisions were over.

In less than two months the version that I heard, from the rest of the squad and NEVER from him, it was that I was in love of him and I had a problem because I did not wanted to recognize it. I ignored it but inside me I was preparing a rope to let him hang himself. The next year we needed to join to several squads to make a bigger team. He put all the others against me saying how evil, emotionless and diva I was. I ignored it and I let the other squads know me. However, in the meanwhile, I had to direct a television show. It was a television kind debate/talk show about films. I let the talkers chose the film and they chose the Rocky Horror Picture Show. I accepted but I had to watch the film because I did not.

Have in mind we were studying in a Catholic College, to that and the fact the crew was against me. They simply did not follow my orders. They changed few minutes ago the typography and put a different colorful text for each one. The set designer changed the set leaving it without finish. The sound technician decided to add unexpected sound effects… Note: I was not the only one who these “lovely” people made this “joke”. The fault and responsibility is just mine because I did not know how to direct my crew but it is what people used to do, even knowing the academic records would affect to all of them.

Cameron Diaz. The Mask. Picture courtesy New Line Cinema.

Cameron Diaz. The Mask. Picture courtesy New Line Cinema.

We had a guy in our crew who wanted to become a woman and who felt very misunderstood. I can say when he was dressed as a woman his legs were prettier than mine. I can tell nothing about her in present because the last thing I knew is he changed his sex. So, if the other day I watched an Omaze video and I did not recognized Simon Pegg with his glasses. Imagine with that pal… I am a disaster and I recognize it but I do not hate people. So, I did not understand the rumor about I hated transexuals and gays. I let it go again.

The folk who was creating all the mess at my back managed to date “in secret” one of the girls from my squad. Then, it arrived the last part of the same year and people started to notice that it was something wrong but not at my side. Next year, I had to work with him too but less than in other years it was like that song of Kelly Clarkson: “Since U Been Gone.” To the projects in which we needed to work together I let him choose his job roles but he did not wanted to be at my side: because “I’m BAD” and I am very direct saying the things. In other hand, he needed to have the girl, “who was dating in secret because if not we were going to mess with their ideal relationship”, ALWAYS at his side. In minor roles, of course, any girl cannot be greater than him. And… well, they finished pretty bad when she started to get tired to be her maid and later, to do not receive any reward. I mean, you guys, are the ones who think more often in sex. If you are treating somebody as a mop or a doll (“show up in my video, do this, jump…”) do not think sex is a “reward” because it is a “reward” for the manipulative person and not for the one who feels under control.

However, do you want to know what annoyed me more of these people whom where always on reason of everything and who had all the talent? That they were always looking for secret meanings in everything.

I can understand a person like my father who thinks: “books are useless” or when we pass for a highway where it crosses the new speed train line he says “what a waste of money on this because it never passes trains” when, he has passed a brief moment for that road in several months; obviously, only an absurd mind like mine can think that maybe, if you were waiting at the train station the whole day you could arrive to that conclusion but not in other way.

Well, I understand people like this one could look for secret meanings on: television shows, films… But I cannot understand it on people who has studied filmmaking. I mean, one thing is that you let yourself get involved on the story but you know it is a McGuffin and the writers and producers are trying to manipulate you and to manipulate your feelings. I thought that was clear but it seems it is not. I am only going to make a rhetoric question to see if you get it: “Where the polar bears come from and which is the meaning of the numbers?” Yeah, two questions in one, my bad… Anyway, it was obvious: “Play to that lottery numbers” but do not get into that plane.

A professor once told me: “For each ten people you will meet: nine won’t be able to front reality. They will look for excuses or addictions to try to find a ‘sense’ to reality. Eight, will develop a mental problem. Only two will be correctly diagnosed.” All of this was before that fabulous invent called social networks. I am not sure about that numeral reports now, dear professor.

Jim Carrey. The Mask. Picture courtesy New Line Cinema.

Jim Carrey. The Mask. Picture courtesy New Line Cinema.

Not sure why… I suppose it is my naive side which wants to believe everybody is a nice person inside. I think maybe in a very deep corner of their hearts and minds it must be something good in them. Then, you discover that the only one who is always right, in everything, is Shakespeare: “God has given you a face, and you make yourself another.”

Years pass, and I started to notice that all that childish and harming behaviors which happened at my back still happen with a major interest but on the social networks; all of this between my old mates and contacts. They got stupid fights with the “interpretations” and “secret meanings” simply because somebody posted a movie quote. But, I am an otter and troubles find me just as it happens with Jedis.

I have been for years making the job of online therapist. Some asked me: “What should I study philology or history?” Well, it depends of what you want to be folk. Although, if I had bad luck with troubles I have even more bad luck with rockstars. Seriously, I must have a special magnetism for that, in special for drummers. All of you, folks, play the drums or is it just a hobby? So many musicians, actually. It is quite insane if I think about it. For that reason, I do not think about it.

Do you know what I do not like of “rockstars”? Most of them tend to feel attacked by others easily. I mean, music is subjective. I like Tchaikovsky but for that reason it does not mean the work of others is S*. I could be more or less agree. It can make me feel more or less but it does not mean it is not good. That’s my weird way to see the things. However, it is easily to see in music magazines how one band disrespects the other… Maybe a singer… And I am like: “Oh dear, 10 years of this plus 5+1+5 of this… You know? I had so much of this S*. Just make your stuff and let me out of it.” But it never happens. They always come back. ALWAYS…

I do not like to have conclusions about other people even more if that conclusions are based in what others tell about that person. On my own experience, I know people lie and they can make believe the whole world a bad opinion about others. I like to think the best is inside of everyone but some people just caused so much harm that I cannot even think in to be a few meters closer than them. Even less to talk.

Some people like to tell all the dramas of their childhoods. We all have, but some of us do not go around there making believe others lies, even less, we have as intention to play with other minds.

Jim Carrey. The Mask. Picture courtesy New Line Cinema.

Jim Carrey. The Mask. Picture courtesy New Line Cinema.

Do you know how it feels being a woman? No, you do not. You will never know how denigrating is when somebody in Turkey asks your mother: “How much do you want for your daughter?” He wanted to change me for jewels. The sad is this happens each day across the globe.

You do not have to hear that you are eating so much or, expending so much, when you are only eating one or two meals at day. Because certain “materialist and selfish people” as people like you, love to call women like me those things. When, in fact, we are almost sacrificing everything to give to others what we cannot have.

Most men do not even know how to fry an egg because WE, women, are the ones who must clean, cook and to please the MEN in everything. If not, you get upset and you, MEN, start to scream in a neurotic attack of fury saying: “Girls must be tamed” and with that excuse you will use any method you know: hit, sadomasochism as a sexual domination technique or mental games. And everything because certain MEN are obsessed with control and they cannot accept rejection or somebody will tell them NO.

This kind of people does not have to hear, each day or their lives, how useless people like me are or if you have won something phrases like: “And which is the price, toothpaste?” And do you know why this kind of people does not have to hear this things? Because they are the ones who say the things and who bully the other people who they think they are weaker than them.

Jim Carrey and Cameron Diaz. The Mask. Picture courtesy New Line Cinema.

Jim Carrey and Cameron Diaz. The Mask. Picture courtesy New Line Cinema.

Everything started around the middle of November when a naive girl, like me, from a country which does not have very consideration for women in power, created a television series and she was hungry for to get a job as CREW in any film company. Inspired by the marketing campaign of LOST, I thought: “Why cannot I do the same to pitch my project?” The problem is, in Hollywood, nobody answers and you are hungry for a job.

By accident, I found some independent band which needed some help in a music video. I knew they were not going to hire me but maybe, we could help one to each other. I was quite naive… Casualty or not, that music video is the only one without credits but… it is fine. After the confusion and the stupid trick in which the director is not a real person and, in fact, he is the singer what else could I expected.

However, the comments on certain web page intrigued me. They awoke my curiosity because they started to show cues that I shared on my private emails. It did not matter if I sent to them: some work, some sale tricks for merchandising or personal information. They said they need to know the true person before to hire someone. Now you know the person and after all what I have seen I do not want to be at your side anymore. It is not for what other people tell me about you and that “I am making a wrong opinion about your persona”. It is that I have seen and received so many things and when I said that I did not wanted to be at your side anymore, around two years ago, you hacked everything, making me believe that I was insane and the world was against me. You went one by one of my contacts, using mail ware and playing dirty tricks. To what? To later to have to read how do you have a jealousy attack and you say atrocities of OC? He is more polite and he dresses much better than you. It is not necessary you criticize him.

I had to stop to pitch my projects because I was not sure of nothing. You wrote all kind of lies about me and you sent your “lovers” against me saying it was not you who created the mess that they were, or I was. It did not matter how many times I said let me out of this. You always found a excuse or a new lie to justify your acts and, meanwhile, I was not the only one who was doubting about my mental health.

Do you know how many people have tried to suicide for that games you practiced in your site? The hide and seek in your sandbox as you like to call it? They came to me, telling me their versions about what you made to them. Some, even told me the sex experiences you had with them. Not on adult age by the way. And, of course, you cannot be sure who is lying and who is not inside your sick game but I have always found very appropriate that when somebody published the truth on the comments of that sick place, that chain of comments disappeared. I think that was the reason a German fan started to keep record of every single word published on there. Some of your fans even planned some kind of “murder” plot. Do you know that? And do you know about the one who wants to demand you? Yeah… you have made a lot of “friends” with that obsession of to play several online characters, to steal identities and later, to let people minds try to fit the gaps and to guess with who they are playing. I have heard rumors you have started again to do the same but, this time, not with current people… What a casualty that you heard my advise and when you were nominated to all that awards and glory you closed the comment section of your page? You even participated in an anti-bulling campaign saying how much regret you had about things you did. To later what? To open it again? Is that you are really trying to give a new opportunity to let express to certain fans? Honestly, I do not think so. I think you are trying to keep us on the hot pan to see how our brains are cooked.

Jim Carrey. The Mask. Picture courtesy New Line Cinema.

Jim Carrey. The Mask. Picture courtesy New Line Cinema.

The trick of: “I love you so much. Please, stay.” Stopped to work when, in Paris, I assisted to your concert and you later say I was not there: getting upset and mad. This kind of things like the middle finger one that you use to make online. And just because I did not pay the expensive ticket to meet you in person… but I found the lock on Le Pont de les Arts: “Three days to Esther”. I was not the only one who founded it and it started a hunting to see who was Esther. That is love, isn’t? And for that reason you did not showed up, in any place. Because it was a hide and seek game about to find the “secret meanings” but, in other hand, there was a guy following me all the time: hiding here and there. He did not make me feel safe at all, in case you did not have it clear.

What I have never expected is all that madness that in some point it started in your page about the Joker and Harley became true. I mean, I was watching the show: studying the weaker points because you scared me and you hurt me and you have heard on the story before what I use to do: to pay heed.

The “lovely” thing was when I started to see you online portrayed as the new Indiana Jones, few years ago. Did not you have enough saying Worldless and all my tales were yours?

Jim Carrey. The Mask. Picture courtesy New Line Cinema.

Jim Carrey. The Mask. Picture courtesy New Line Cinema.

I decided to make a communications blackout and to suffer whatever else you were hiding on your sleeve. It was curious. It still is. When I publish certain things there is an immediate answer. In special, when they are love declarations. When the fun part of this virtual insanity and any PR or publicist will confirm you: “We play with the scheduled posts and the ‘live’ ones”. The first rule is to never let know to the audience when you are home. I said, “fun”, because folks always answer to my scheduled stuff and not to the ‘live’ one. Do you know that scene in The Wolf of Wall Street in which Margot Robbie wears a sexy pink dress and she is the one who “puts in control” the drug and sex addict Leo DiCaprio? You have been very, very, very bad.

And, I know this text is going to awake in you a fury attack. You are going to try to destroy me and to try to make me feel like if I am crazy… For I don’t know… The 10K time. Do you know what I am going to do? The same I did with the other guy: nothing.

As you liked to comment: “People who is starving themselves they have mental problems or they are trying to look for a quick path to the Enlightenment”. I am going to show, with a great wide open transparency policy, my better light and who I am. Not who you say I am. I am going to let the world will think of me what they want even if that means to do not produce any film on Hollywood. And I am going to let you to play your game. You can keep saying all the lies that you want but I will not comment and I WILL NOT in any of your domains. In fact, the last time I did was around two years ago and I did it perfectly identifying myself.

If you are wise you will step away and you will let me alone for once. If not, I recommend you to do not put on my path again because I am not going to do nothing. Seriously, I am not. It will be you whom will do all the bad things to yourself. That story about the tragic dead of your father… It was very, very sad.

I know it is your word, again, against mine and all the odds are not at my side but if I keep with your “game” I am not really showing who I really are. With this, I close this kind of themes for once. I do not care what certain people does with their lives. So, I expect, people do not care what I do with my life.

Cameron Diaz. The Mask. Picture courtesy New Line Cinema.

Cameron Diaz. The Mask. Picture courtesy New Line Cinema.

Now, to other talented people which had to suffer the attacks of jealousy of some folks obsessed with the “hide and seek”. My most deeply apologizes for the struggles and communication mistakes that this pathetic situation could have caused you. It is not in my hand the will of others. When I noticed it, it was a bit late and the communication misunderstood was huge. I am sorry but as a way to protect myself I tend to keep away of certain things as much as I can and I hope you respect that.

Once, when I said: “I feel like Tom Felton” because there is a woman always keeping an eye on him. I suppose most of you had fun at me. I hope you enjoyed the laughs is all what I can say about it.

Actually, it was weird because I was in London and I neither felt safe walking on the streets. I like London because it is the last place on Earth on I think it stills living gentlemen. You cannot imagine which kind of fight with drunks it had one of this bicycle taxis guy to help me to arrive safe to my place. I gave to him an extra tip just for that. Imagine how I felt that I booked the trip to Hogwarts but, the same day, meanwhile I was walking around, at certain point of the walk, I had the same sensation that something around was going wrong. So I picked up a newspaper and I took refuge at the Hilton to read. And there was the Harry Potter kid saying he had made a documentary about this precisely. It was going to be broadcasted that night: the same day I was going to Hogwarts. I use to say the Force works on mysterious ways. Thank you for that point of view, kid.

Honestly, after all of this adventures and all this stuff, I am scared to meet people because now, I know that if they have a company or an agent it does not mean they are “good”. My life will be easier simply with to can live independently on a place (NO MORE CRAZY ROOMATES or neurotic family), to write and to give that stuff to the best people in the world to let them make something amazing with it. I know I will miss the stage and to work as crew but I cannot direct anymore, at least for some time. It is not that people like me do not want to sign our work or to say the things we have done or we can do. It is we have attracted to our light so many parasites which have sucked so much of people like me and, even, if we try to make good, we do not feel strong enough to do it.

Well, to the ones who want to start an adventure on filmmaking and to try to get respect of people who you do not know. I can only tell you: patience, meditation and serenity are your best allies. You are going to need a lot of that but, above all, do not make the same mistake I did. Do not trust so blindly to the first guy with an agent and some released stuff. Everybody wears a mask. As Shakespeare said: “Love all, trust a few, do wrong to none.” Keep with that. It is a very good advise.

LAST NOTE (25th July): This text was written 18th July corrected next day and scheduled on 20th July, as most of the posts of this past week has been. I helped that “independent folks” for free only in exchange of to help me to get respect inside the industry. The only that I asked on this time it was a handwritten note saying thank you or to invite me to a cup of coffee or tea to talk about all this “fan madness”. YOU “creators of chaos” broke the deal with your cynicism the day in which you started: to portrait me as a loon, to say bad things about me and my reputation, to make people believe my work was yours: including this web site (the older one), my stories and my series. Without to exclude the games that you liked to play with your audience and which I have always considered immoral and unethical. I have scolded this folks so many times about them but they only heard it when it arrived the time of the nominations and awards. I have also learnt, recently, that my cupcake gift was not liked it. For this reason you did not said: thank you. You said pretty bad things in fact… I suppose your tastes are of different kind in gift matters… That story about you only dated your past girlfriends for interests and sometimes you did not really know why you did that when I was, clearly, the love of your life let me really see who you really are. So keep your own way, and now that you are watching who REALLY send me thank you notes, like it is a big fish, do not try to clean your image from one side towards me when at my back you still playing with your madness. No more threats will be accepted and I will severely punish any harming threat towards my persona. Your problem is simple: “You have never listened your audience”. It was me who was doing that all this time. Good bye.

KS: Food Allergies

Gluten Free Roads.

Gluten Free Roads.

It sucks and you know it. There are times in which you will kill for some ice-cream. You will arrive to the supermarket terminator style and, if it would be necessary, you will make more acrobatics than Lara Croft until to arrive to the corridor where it is kept all the frozen stuff. You will dodge shopping carts as bullets. You will jump over the crowd of fussy women obsessed with to read all the tags and prices. Then, you will arrive to the sacred place: the golden fridge which keeps the good stuff. You will have a last fight with a missus who has the same objective than you: to get the last ice-cream box in summer. Finally, you will knock her with the fridge door to, what? To discover the last ice-cream is not lactose free or gluten free and you cannot eat that stuff. Argggg!

Some situations like the last one are very awkward because what do you do then? Obviously, smile to the missus who is recovering of the punch and offer to her the ice-cream. Do not worry, she will be taken aback. She will do not understand nothing. So, simply put your sunglasses, keep smiling and… FLEE.

The case is, after all of this you still without ice-cream and you start to make the grumpy faces of Mr. Bean. Relax, breathe… I understand when you have an intolerance or an allergy to some foods life can look in black, white and some grayish tones. In special, when you travel abroad or around the world and a stupid folk has not write the food tags in your language. Is not this annoying?

Well, I cannot promise you gold or a better life with this cheat trick but it is helpful. Please, check Gluten Free Roads. It is a web page and also an app which tell you where are places which serve or sell meals gluten free but now be clever, please. Not all the places which sell the stuff are notified yet, so do not be scared to explore the world, discover things and: Please, add them to the app to help others with similar problems as yours.

Most of the stores which sell Gluten Free products usually sell all kind of food free of other allergens, which it is cool. Well, not really all kind… Thinking about it… If you are special, like a pal I know who is allergic to kiwis… Well, just better do not eat kiwis you do not really need this app.

What was I saying? Oh, yes: allergens. So you know? With all the love to all the special (“not super-special“) allergic people.

Don’t Be Down

Esther_Lopez__elmwrites__on_TwitterAs you have could appreciate, the typical scheduling of any of my sites has changed. As short version of the story let’s say there are so many trolls out there.

I have been thinking about it for so long and I know, in theory, this week must to be shared a “creative post” because that is what routine says but, recently, I have been putting in order some old papers and archives and I have discovered that I have missed to answer to a folk. Do you know this strange messages some virtual creatures leave and which I am tired to talk about? Well, somebody left a message like one year ago. On that times I answered copying the text to do not make a screen capture but on the picture you can see what I answered to this person.

Honestly, I like to entertain people and to make them feel better. If it is possible I like to make them laugh but the aptitude of certain people it is crossing the line and this is not the first time they have done that. However, let’s say… in the past I had more sense of patience and forgiveness for all this kind of absolutism behavior that I am having right now.

When I was young, I expended my life divided between two towns and it did not matter if I went to school to one and the weekends to other because kids always found a reason to tell me that I had missed something “important”. And that “important” think that I keep missing my whole life it seems the reason that this kind of people always try to find to fight with other.

However, to miss the “important” puts me always in a neutral position between all the fights. And, without knowing how, people always come to me to tell me their problems, insecurities, fights… I suppose they did because they wanted that I decided to support one side, or because I am good at listen. Fact, which is the real reason which makes any folk very good telling stories (no confuse with lies). Listen more.

The point of this is always the same. It does not matter how old you are or if you had a fight: for a doll, love stories or some songs. Both sides always come to me because they try to put me at their side. It gives me an unique perspective because I can know the two versions of the story that people likes to tell but, with time. It is all a matter of maths and time.

Do you want to know how I resolved most of this childish conflicts when I was a kid? I sat on the street and I started to tell a story to one of the both sides of the conflict. The other faction was a few meters not very far of us trying to guess if we were planning and plotting something to “hurt” them. Suddenly, they discovered that we were having an imaginary party traveling to an enchanted house or fighting against pirates. The curiosity won and they came to sit between us and to enjoy the story. Everything was peaceful again until the next week. And not all the weeks folks wanted to listen stories. I suppose drugs and self-harm are more easy paths if you do not want to deal with reality. Or, maybe, not all the people has been blessed with this huge monster called imagination.

The thing is I had the hope this situations would have finished when I stopped to met that people but the reality is that I have continued growing up, getting wrinkled, and this keeps happening. The last time I had the biggest drama of this kind was when I was living in Los Angeles with a roommate. She had 45 years old and I had the hope she was like some kind of adviser but then, I discovered age does not make people wiser. It is hard when so many people come to you always demanding your time and patience and you never have someone with who you can discharge.

It is weird because I was nobody but I created the series Worldless on that times and I was trying to pitch it, which, if you have never tried, it is not easy. A lot of people: do not want to listen, other simply see where you come from and think that you only want to have a Green Card to later to do not work, others simply tell you “without sex with me you are not going to have nothing”, others tell you that you are crazy and others make you believe you really are crazy.

I am going to quote Michael Cain in his role on Alfred in the Dark Knight. He is talking with Bruce about a criminal who cannot be identified and who is creating chaos on the streets of Gotham. Then, Alfred tells a story of his past to Bruce about when he was a soldier. He told him they were for days running after a thief and they could not find him. Finally, they found a kid playing with a gem of the size of an orange. The thief was throwing away all the loot because he only wanted to create chaos. Because some people only live for create chaos and that is the only reason of why they do the things they do.

On that early times of the series I caused fascination in a lot of people whom came back to me: asking for jobs, roles or why not? Personalized characters created only for them. Everybody wants a piece of you and you do not even receive a Christmas Card or a Happy Birthday. You do not know how but you keep going and going. Until the point in which you are feeding yourself with only a bowl of lentils at day because LA is expensive and people can make you believe a lot of things.

However, the quick increasing of followers in Worldless not only fascinated people it also scared some folks. I was reading the communication feeds and things like: “What do you think, that you are going to still my whole fanbase?” Where constantly repeating.

I am a person with simply needs. I only need peace, some food and to can create my stories and crazy worlds which are quite childish but I like to be so silly and immature like Peter Pan or Alice in Wonderland stories. Maybe, the fault is of Disney, after all. Or of Lucas with Willow and the Ewoks. They were the first people who showed me magic and monsters to feed my imagination.

My first film watched on a theater was Jurassic Park. I went with my uncle and my cousin and it was like: “Wow”. I was collecting dinosaurs and learning about them for years. All for that film. Even when my family told me dinosaurs are not for girls. I started to explain to them the difference between a velociraptor and an ovociraptor or a diplodocus and a branchiosaurus. They looked at me like: “Ok, she loves biology.” The next thing I asked for a toy was a Mecano, which you do not know what it is because it probably has another name in your country. It is a box: full of metal pieces with holes, screws, bolts, engines… And you build things with the pieces that later work or move: a car, an helicopter… I expended hours my weekends between the Mecano and the dinosaurs and do you know why? To do not go to the street and to have to listen more complains, wars or to be the therapist of a bunch of spoiled kids who do not even know how to prepare a sandwich or whom did not have any sense of how to be responsible. But, after, I was the weird.

Disgracefully, I have seen how people cut their skin with the excuse of the “ginger spice” left the Spice Girls. This was before the virtual madness about to “share” everything so I perfectly understand that now people do it or want to do it and they need to share it as if it would be the saddest party on the whole planet and nothing else would matter except them. Because, to some kind of people (depressed or not) the world only spins around them and they do not have in consideration nobody else.

Do you want to know what at my teens I decided I wanted to be filmmaker, even if I did not know how to do it? Because I grow up with Spielberg and Lucas. They made feel that I was not the only one with this crazy mind which creates fantasies that they do not really exist. They were the only ones with made me feel better with their stories and I though that I wanted to make people feel the same those filmmakers made me feel to me. Because if people were already looking after me to listen my stories why not to tell them to more people and not only for a few depressed kids? Years later, it showed up on television: first a girl called Felicity and after Sidney Bristow. The guy who created that also got me. I still without to know how I will do it but I have to do it. I have to tell my stories and to work with that guys and I do not care if they have money or we are going to need to rob a bank but, please, let’s do it Sidney Bristow style and you can be Ethan Hunt.

The problem with the people who feels like Sisyphus is they are focused in their own rock and they do not see all the landscape around them. Sometimes, they are only carrying a small pebble if we compare it with the bargains other people around the world is carrying and whom are not constantly complaining about it.

Those people are so focused in themselves and their own problems that the first instinct they have is that people only goes to them to put them more weight on them. When, in fact, what they are doing is bouncing the stone to one side to other and killing all the biodiversity which wants to grow around them. Or which simply approach for curiosity listening the noise the boulder makes each time it moves.

You are agents of chaos and you only generate madness around you. You think that madness will give you some kind of satisfaction, justice or sales but the truth is madness only attracts sickness and dead.

It is curious if you think about it. At the beginning when I was in LA passing all my stuff and trying to deal with all the attacks agains my series and myself some people thought that I was insane but when they started to know a bit more. In special, when they started to know to who I was pitching. Suddenly, this attacks changed and they became my “best friends”. They even fall in love of me just because I published a story about a Chinese Princess. So I do not want to know what would happen if one day I publish a book saga I created on college about a Phoenix and a Dragon. Yes, folks, it is sad to reveal the truth. Some stories come before certain accidents happened. You are not the center of the world.

However, that “good wishes” about I wish you to have thousands of retweets and stupid things like that. To people like me are like curses. We do not like that. If we are online it is because we have some PR or marketing work to do and, by the way, we do it without create all chaos and insanity that you do. Or, do you think the last time when I had to delete everything I did not know who was behind and why was this happening?

To my surprise, getting out of the board was not enough and people like YOU found a way to hack my e-mails, to supplant my identity and to say that my past projects were yours. What a lovely people are out there.

These kind of people, folks, they do not have middle term or you must be feeding them constantly or they go against you. When you stop to feed them, they get angry and they look for a bunch of strange reasons and interpretations about why people does not feed them anymore. They see everything in metaphors and in double meanings and senses because it is how they communicate but they are never brave enough to practice a direct communication to anybody. Later, they start to spread out there rumors about “girlfriends”, “love relationships” and all kind of fooleries when, in fact, they do not even have the decency to try to meet you in person. And, it was not because they did not had opportunities. It was because they were so many excuses and none of them serious business related.

After all of this madness and chaos that these kind of people creates, if it was not enough with to have to read their “messages” or the “messages” of their mad dogs. Or to have to read that my talent and creativity it is not mine it is from them and to their assistant with who I share initials. Later, as desert, I must read that I was not creative until they entered in my life and thanks to them I was creating all my stuff. Not enough with that things, they say the kind of things with you can read bellow… like this is happening for four years on this schedule:
– Monday: I love you
– Tuesday: You are important for me
– Wednesday: I am not sure about your love or who has the fault
– Thursday: I hate you
– Friday: You are F* B* or W*
– Saturday: What do you think you are doing? You are the most pathetic creature in the the world.
– Sunday: I must put in order my brain.

This, ladies and gentleman, is like the film the Edge of Tomorrow. You know: Life. Die. Repeat. One day, I discovered this kind of “technique” to treat women it comes from a book; because it seems girls like me need to be tamed but also they added: “Or you are mine or you won’t belong to nobody”. And this includes all kind of “Techniques”: like to go to others to tell them “curious things” or why not, spread out there that I am a materialist and that I am crazy. In special, I am crazy for YOU. My apologies, folk, if my stories have melted your circuits but you have never been my type of man at all.

Last time this happened, it was for some sort of confusion on a web page in which I do not comment. It seemed somebody was supplanting my identity and it was a lot of miscommunication. Somebody spread the rumor I was lesbian and the same folk of: “You are mine or you won’t belong to nobody.” Got mad thinking that I was “cheating” him all this time. I have homosexual pals, transexual too. I respect their choice and their freedom. So, I cannot stand people who acted on that disrespectful way as you did. Now, it seems the situation is similar but with jealousy for “another lover”. Honestly, I find this kind of things so pathetic that I can only think in to keep on my own world.

I said this long ago: “You are my nemesis”. You are all the opposite to how I am and you do not know nothing at all. There is a huge difference between people like you or the ones which came to school with me and finished with drugs or self-harm. People like you never regrets of what you do. You do not regret of nothing and to me that is terrible wrong. Maybe I am very stupid and I regret for so many things which, maybe I do not have the fault of them, but I regret because and action has a consequence and I regret of the consequence that the action has created. I must learn of that but without regret there is not forgiveness. So, how people like you expect people accepts you and forgives you if you are always predicating that you never regret for your acts?

When I was working as intern in a production company I requested the job of editor assistant. When I went to the interview they saw me, I talked with them and everything was great. Weeks later I received a call from them telling me I got the job but when I went the first day they told me that they had changed and, despite I was going to be editor assistant, they had filled that position and they needed a production assistant. I told them that I did not want that. That I was leaving. They needed me because they waited until the last moment to tell me that and it was not time to look for other to fill the position. They ask me what I wanted and I said director assistant.

I got the job but I was more a runner than an “assistant”. To be exact I was a “trophy wife” and I know this word has certain bad connotations but I have not found a better translation for what I want to express. I mean: a girl who is only treated as as trophy because is beauty and she goes here and there but without the option of to show her intellect.

They gave me a drawer, only for me, where they put the tasks I had to do. They had musical licenses to fill since March. It was July, they made weekly shows around 30 minutes and each 30 seconds, approximately, they changed the song, to do not pay so much. But when the team did not used the cheap songs from the library and they used last hits they falsified the papers: to save money. Do not be alarmed in Spain everybody does it even for to take public subsidies. That things about ethics…

I finished my paperwork in less than two weeks and the producer was rushed off with me because I was constantly asking: “What else you need?” So they put me as runner to. To put in order all the CD’s, to make physical copies of the show, to go here and there… And I kept going. One day, they let me go out with the filming team. It was a hot afternoon and, as soon we arrived to location, the camera and the journalist left the gear to one side they told me to keep an eye to it and they went to a bar. They were for 45 minutes on there and, in the meanwhile, I put the camera on place and I prepared everything to be ready for film. When that two came back they got surprised and they told me I had not to do that because maybe I did it wrong. I said: “Check it”. It was not wrong. I could continue with this but I think it is enough.

Some people have the bad eye to see girls only as objects, “possible wives”, partners… They only can think: we are doing the things that we do because we want something of them, or we are insane, or “in love”… Some girls only want to show up to the world that we are something else than a pretty face and that we can make tremble anything just with a thought of our brain. We are better, maybe not in everything, but in a lot of things than a lot of people out there. And, simply, for the fact of to be a woman certain people does not give to us the respect and recognition that we deserve.

People, who creates chaos and madness with their “techniques” of miscommunication and elevating that insanity around them, love to use this kind of women as shields, arguing: we are not intelligent, we only look for fame or love, we do not have talent at all, we are fake, or creations and in real yours… If you ask me about what I know and what I can do you will always have the same answer: “nothing”. Although if you ask me about why I regret. I really have an answer: “To have sent YOU messages to help you in your: business, sales, edition of your music videos or to sing on an appropriate tune… even when I knew you were not going to help me in nothing.” By the way, the thing about to take pictures to the sky and to the clouds it is one of my wild crazy ideas. If certain symbols showed up it does not give you permission to take that symbols as yours and to make merchandise with them. I know there is not a legal way to copyright the clouds but my stories are copyrighted. If I shared some for free it is at my will, not at yours. But what I am saying… You cannot even create a decent character to make the mad chats in your page with your bro and pals. You need to copy from this one, from that other one and later say it was not you. So sad… And only to what? To create more modern Cassandra’s myths? That will make you a drug dealer but not rich buddy. Have these words always present.

I am going to keep this open but I am not going to publish with the frequency I did before, even less creating a routine. I am going to keep publishing because some people needs a voice and some people needs help. And, as I said in a tweet, everybody needs a teacher and everybody needs to learn. I am here, open, to any kind of direct communication with serious requests.

A Jedi never uses her power to attack only for defend herself. If some people feels attacked check your communications or look inside yourself. Maybe you are hidden things which you must meditate and regret. As I said, some people does not have anymore my help. LLAP

My Life Has Been A Lie

Cinderella (1950). Picture courtesy Disney Pictures.

Cinderella (1950). Picture courtesy Disney Pictures.

It is true. Life is not fair. One day, you wake up and you discover life is not how you have imagined at all. It is just… It is not how you have planned it and you discover things are not right. Yes, folks, it happened to me some months ago. I woke up and I discovered I was using the wrong shoe size.

I am not kidding. Please, be serious with this. I have grown up believing I used a shoe number and it was a huge LIE, same with clothes. Do you know which kind of trauma can this create to a young mind like mine? Well, actually, it is not so dramatic but let’s treat this text as if all of us are fashion addicts. Just for to try to have fun with it.

It is hard. I know. What am I going to do with all these clothes? They are not my size anymore! And the shoes… Oh noes! Life is not fair at all… (crying scene – drama, drama and more drama)

(10 boxes of tissues later)
Ok, let’s breath. Recover the composure… Enough tears about this. Thanks Lord purses are one size if not I would not know what I would do with my senseless life because it is truth. Life does not have sense at all if you cannot wear your favorite shoes.

Actually, and thinking about it… Wasn’t Marilyn who said: “Give to a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world”? See? This is the logical explanation of why I have not conquered the world yet. Folks, now be prepared for the annihilation.

Do you know thinks in some countries work very different than in others, don’t you? I have seen it in USA. You see the kids and they wear all kind of mismatching clothes because their parents give some kind of freedom… So it is completely accepted that a kid just wear a tutu on the street, or flashy clothes, a batman outfit (even if it is not Halloween). It is fun. Everybody can wear what they want.

However, not all the countries work the same way. In some countries your parents tell you what you should wear and they have that right because they have created you. It is not because they like to give orders. It is something commonly accepted.

Something similar happens with food. It does not matter that you say: “I hate artichokes” because they are not going to listen you. In fact, if you ask your family probably they are going to tell you: “You love artichokes”. It does not matter. It is a lost fight. You can say that you love all the veggies except that one because they are going to insist: “You love artichokes”. And if not, they are going to say: “Since when?”. Facepalm, I know.

Cinderella (1950). Picture courtesy Disney Pictures.

Cinderella (1950). Picture courtesy Disney Pictures.

The other day I just assisted to a kind of conversation like this. It was one of my cousins with his parents. He was talking about his shoulder problem saying that he is complaining about his shoulders since he was a kid. The answer was: “Since when? What didn’t you tell us?” But, that’s it. This kind of conversations never arrive to any place in certain cultures.

On these cultures they do exactly the same with what you should do in your life. It is like this Korean tradition in which when you are a toddler they put several objects in front of you and you must pick one. The one that you pick is the one who says the profession you are going to have. So, beware with what you pick toddlers. Your destiny will depend of that.

On my culture it is a bit more about hands. My grandpa was very proud of me. He saw my hands and he said: “She would be a good baker” and it is true. In part, I love to bake sweets and not to eat them. I also love to cook but I cannot be the typical baker of my culture.

I do not remember this but my family has told me this story so many times that it is like if I remember it. It seemed, one day, my grandpa was very upset. He was walking with me near the beach and a gipsy saw me and she read my hands, for free. She did not wanted nothing. I do not remember I was a toddler but my grandfather came back home very upset. She told him that I was going to be a great artist who I will influence a lot of people. Grandpa was upset because for him artist were painters and that meant to him to suffer starvation and a bad life. It was better to be baker because you can always know how to make your own “bread”. The mystic part of this story is that my family tried to talk with the gipsy again and she completely disappeared. Like I do not like to take so serious this things because they scare me. I want to think the gipsy was some kind Jedi or Fairy Godmother. Something lovely…

Cinderella (1950). Picture courtesy Disney Pictures.

Cinderella (1950). Picture courtesy Disney Pictures.

Anyway, now you know how certain cultures work. So, I liked to imagine what would happen if you apply the mentality of my culture about to “say how should be” the things to their children, to a freedom fashion addict. It would be: “OMG! All my life believing I must wear size 40 and I have discovered I use 36.” You know, a very huge drama. Because do not deny it is not a huge one. Now, what do you do with that clothes you “love”? It is worst than a breakup with the “Charming Prince”.

Oh, wait, I have not told you the other huge LIE. This one was quite shocking actually…

Do you know all this fancy stories about a girl with crystal slippers, who goes to a ball and she meets the “Charming Prince” and at midnight she must run but thanks to the shoe he finds him and they live happily ever after? Imagine if Cinderella was not wearing the “right” shoe size… Buff! Let’s give thanks to the Fairy Godmother to have done of that shoes the right ones. And for to have used a pumpkin and not a huge artichoke. What a mess of story I am doing.

Anyway, I was at college and I had a “subject” called “Communications Theory” with a “professor” who was very “special”. The quotes are for remark how “special” was “everything”. It is not well seen to write filthy words and bad things.

She was a “special” woman. She taught us not everything is a casualty and everything has a reason. She had kids and she did not had television in her house because she did not wanted her kids grow up with the bad influence of that “evil box”. It is truth, actually, some broadcasted shows are awful.

Curiously, she was teaching that subject to people who was studying a degree to work behind cameras on television. So yes, it was like one of this strange road movies with all kind of accidental things happening in between and without to know if you will approve that subject one day of your life. Surprisingly, I was good on it because I articulate but a friend of mine had a misfortune incident and she… Well, she almost could not have the degree only for a subject. Let’s say, kids, that even if you are not agree with your professors, to some of them, you ALWAYS must give to them the reason. ALWAYS. And NEVER talk bad about them EVEN MORE if you are in the college cafeteria talking with your mates and the PROFESSOR just pass behind your back. Have you seen that scenes with professor Snape in Hogwarts? Snape was not so awkward. Trust me.

Cinderella (1950). Picture courtesy Disney Pictures.

Cinderella (1950). Picture courtesy Disney Pictures.

Well, she unveiled to us the truth. It was the biggest punch to reality EVER. “Disney movies are worst influence of all.”

She loved to project images to explain her theories and her subject and I still quite in shock. Because the SHOE, does not mean a SHOE… It is the metaphor used to hide the reality which is: the SHOE is a symbolism of the eternal classic marriage contract between the man and the woman. And the SHOE it really means the RING.

Not happy with this. She exposed a bunch of images of different Disney films in which she revealed to us the subliminal quality of the images. It seems there are sexual connotations everywhere and all kind of messages treating the women as a sexual icon. Until the point that whoever draw Mufasa’s face was not thinking on a lion if not in a topless almost naked girl. She showed us the scene, that scene, and she draw the… shape. And I was like the Genie on Aladdin when he drops his jaws and he needs the help of Al to close his mouth again.

You cannot make me that, professor! It is Mufasa! How can you dare to destroy my children’s myth? Are you telling me my whole life I was believing a LIE?

Honestly, I do not think the guy who draw Mufasa was really thinking on that perverted thing. Actually, if you look to a lion’s face you can almost see the same shape. So, applying that Communications Theory to the fact it was a Catholic University, should I go further and say the real pervert was God who created that shape on that majestic animal? Because that subject was about that, after all. It was about to look for impossible theories and to articulate them correctly. Although, I still thinking the problem is not in Disney films or the evil box. Shhhh… Someone else had the problem.

On that years you start to film things with crew and you discover this kind of professors have really infected you. It is exactly like in Inception. Just like the idea that they have put it is not: “This world isn’t real”. You know what continues: “You’re waiting for a train…” Well, on this case there was a train too and two people who jumped to the railways to “awake”. NOTE: This short film was before Inception.

I was editor then. And do you know that thing they told: “filmmaking is about to find a crew with whom you can trust and work all together on a idea you believe”? It is another LIE too. Maybe in other times… When it was the Super 8 or early but, in times, when everybody has access to a camera. The normal, not logical, it is to find people who is always desperate to be better than any other and to do anything to be better than the other. Tsk, folks, listen: “You can’t compete with Khan. He is, absolutely, better in EVERYTHING.” Do not try to be better than he. It is just… Illogical…

Cinderella (1950). Picture courtesy Disney Pictures.

Cinderella (1950). Picture courtesy Disney Pictures.

I used to be editor or sound tech because everybody was scared of the softwares. I recognize they are scary specially when you need to equalize the sound and you did not know well how the frequencies work. You know? It is hard you can just grab the sound and pass it for a Noise Gate! Oh, common! If you cannot even touch the sound! And what about the Compressor? How do you do that? Injecting air to the sound? See? For this reason certain jobs are only for magicians because we know how to pick up the sound and pass it through a gate. Magic…

Anyway, I have been in disastrous shooting days but that one deserves an Award. A special one. In theory as editor you should not do so much on set but like we only had two days to film everything and several locations I offered to go and to help. We started at 5 a.m. because there was some sunrise scenes and… You know what happens with the sun? It is a bad guy, it does not wait the director to be ready to film. Because the camera man was ready, the beach too, the two actors too but the director was not sure about the angle to film the scene. For each shot, not scene or take, he took one hour. Is in that moment when you are sitting on the sand looking the sea waves and you think: “Continuity is dead”. “Don’t worry” they said. “Everything can be fixed in post-production.” And Me thinking: “Hey! I’m post-production and my magic isn’t so powerful.” Yes, it is not folks, trust me. I cannot move the sun position and the whole lighting.

The story continued… Everybody fought in a moment with other to see who was better. I even received several shouts to try to approach a cable to a partner who needed it. So, I decided to watch the sea. After lunch the director died, not literally, but he got down. He did not wanted to eat he only say he did not fell well… So he closed himself on one of the rooms of the apartment where we were filming. Desperation went higher, people started to fight and Director’s Assistant put herself on charge to direct. Not happy with that they were a bunch of argues and complains about what she and not “others” with more “direction experience” should direct. She started to direct meanwhile the main director was on next room “dying” and meanwhile, some other crew was criticizing in another next room and meanwhile some other crew was drinking beers. She got upset and she cursed all the people who did not had a “specific job on set”. We were obliged to the exile. Even the owner of the apartment was banished too.

Cinderella (1950). Picture courtesy Disney Pictures.

Cinderella (1950). Picture courtesy Disney Pictures.

We went to a closer bar and only two of us did not drink non-alcoholic drinks. The rest were all about gin, beers… Just what the filming crew “needed”. When we came back around one hour and half after. She had not filmed so much which made upset to the guys who drank the spirits. Suddenly, the director raised from dead like a vampire and he wanted to recover his job position. More fights about he was not ready for that, but he won. So he started to film again wanting to film all the scenes her 1st AD was directed. Obviously, it was not time to that.

People got upset, upset, upset. In resume. We finished the day at 3 a.m. and next day, was scheduled to star at 5 a.m. that, without to have in mind not all of us where sleeping on location. As I heard so many times my help was not needed I took the next train on the morning and I went back home.

When it arrived my turn in post-production. Continuity was really dead. The director showed the first day to see the shots and to edit with me. He did not come back none of the other days. Neither the DP or the 1st AD. We were only Me, my pet rock and the sound editor who had to dubbed in his free time the whole audio because what somebody had recoded it was useless. I swear he made pure magic. He took the wav file (not confuse with woof, that’s a dog) from the final cut and he created everything from 0. Not even having the images or the video. Later he came back and we synchronized it.

I wrapped everything as best I could and I went to the screening with the professor of this final subject. No one of the main charges: director, producer… came to the screening.

I received the most unfair scolding of my whole life from that professor who did not wanted to listen that I was not the director. I simply edited that piece and the other three pals who were with me were: the best man, gaffer, and camera. When the professor reacted he was even more upset. He did not want to notice the magic the other guy made with the sound or anything. So, yes, that thing about to trust in your crew… Definitely not.

Cinderella (1950). Picture courtesy Disney Pictures.

Cinderella (1950). Picture courtesy Disney Pictures.

Some time after I arrived to Los Angeles with the hope to find a more trustful crew. Another LIE. Do you know what is everybody thinking? They think about where are the hot girls and guys which show up on films. I have a theory but it is in my crazy mind. I am not sure if you are going to got it but I am going to try to explain it.

These “hot” guys and girls which show up on films do not exist. I repeat: they do not exist. They are not real, even more if they do not have Twitter they are not real at all. That is the reason you cannot find them walking on the streets as a daydream because the people who acts in films is not real. The real ones are all inside like… in a closet or cupboard inside of the studios and they are there waiting to be useful on the right scene. They only show up on the scene and later they come back to their cupboard and they hide because they are like kids and they are afraid of monsters. Has sense, isn’t it?

Well, I told my theory to my new pals in LA, I think that’s the reason why they always wanted to come with me to Universal Props because they never rented anything. Or was that or it was for to see Wolf? Yes, it was the name of the guy on 3rd floor. What a weird name… However, I did not discovered the secret cupboard on that building but the elevator was like on these spy films, with wind included, so cool… Even more cooler is the one who only lets you go to wardrobe, at least, you have a secret key. Which I do not know what it does but I believe it goes down to the secret operation base located in the underground. Why if not are they going to have outside a bunch of classic cars from some films? Obviously, they are the vehicles for the spies!

Cinderella (1950). Picture courtesy Disney Pictures.

Cinderella (1950). Picture courtesy Disney Pictures.

Anyway, and going back to the clothe size. Do you know which is the problem of filmmaking wardrobes? You got it: the size! And I want to believe it is not a canon problem, as a lot of actresses think. The real problem is not the size of the clothes or the size of the actresses. If not, the real problem is a lot of people “believes” they use a size when, in fact, they are using the wrong shoe size all their lives. I think it is time to complain less about clothes, sizes and shapes and to start to know a bit more oneself. Do not try to fit in clothes that are not for you, or hats or shoes. Because they are made for someone else but not for you. Look at yourself and see what it is inside and then, find your right shoe size. Believe in you and you will find the right one. Good luck. Xo

How to Feed Your Dog

Welcome folks to another edition of Hi!Story because you know: I am an history freak full of stories, in love of animals, monsters, muppets, beasts and magical creatures. However, like some folks have recommended me to get shorter on my introductions I am going to follow that old advise about Kill Your Darlings.

Muppets are lovely. They will always be. Anyway, do you want to know a few things that maybe you did not know? Here, I go.

Whatever you can think about dogs. They are not so different than us. They have a 75% genetic code similar to us: humans, just in case. Their snout is the same than our fingerprints and it is also a tool to identify them. However, the most lovely thing is: “dogs, also love to hear radio stations and music”. Here, let me make a side note: the radio station or music your pet loves would be determined by your pet. Or do you like when your father tells you which music you should hear? Of course not, same happens with food.

It is true, dogs also love to eat the same that we eat. Mine, in special, loves to eat soups and stews or, surprisingly, when I prepare fish. Fact, which sometimes makes me doubt about if I have adopted a dog, a cat or a bear. She is confusing sometimes.

We all know, as humans, we must to follow an equilibrate diet. We also know we must feed or dog correctly. Although sometimes, we, as humans, break the rules and we sneak some chocolate, fast food… OMG a pizza slice. We know we are not doing right. For that reason, if your dog asks you for that things do not feed it with them. If that food is wrong for you it is even worst for your pet. Do not feed it with chocolate your pet will be blind! And this is true.

Dogs are carnivores and they should eat low in carbohydrates, in fact, it will be great if they eat the less possible of that food category. The digestive system of your “loyal friend” absorbs most of the nutrients from raw food. In an ideal world it would be great if we could feed them that way or, if we could cook specially for them the right food. However, if in our times we barely have time to cook for ourselves. It is hard to imagine to find extra time to cook, specially for your dog, but give to them kibbles it is not a bad option if they taste great.

Of course, I know you, humans, are not going to taste first your pet’s food to check if it tastes good. Actually, it is not necessary because with it happens the same than with music: what you like maybe it is not what your dog likes. So do not start to change so much your dog menu because maybe it will rebel.

Now, you know why you are always running out of antacid pills or the ones which prevent headaches. Do not keep them inside the same cupboard. Dogs mix them and they take the wrong one by confusion.

The good about this Dog Chow food, which Purina have had the courtesy of to gift me, it is it works great. My dog is a mature one. She was starting to loose night vision and she was getting fat because when I am out home my parents give to the animal anything. So, yoyo size effect it is constant on my dog.

The kibbles of this brand are of two different types and my dog loves that thing. Not sure if they have different flavor or if it is the different shape which makes she feels like she is not eating the same. I do not know exactly why, because I have not studied dog psychology. Actually, I think my vet once told me he studied that. Well, not my vet. It was my dog’s vet. Although, I am very sure that the dog psychology “trick” do not work with my pet.

The good of this dry food it is it reduces the plaque on your pet’s teeth until a 21% and that is true too. My pet has also better teeth. Sorry, my parents are just a mess for these things. The nibbles also have natural prebiotic as chicory and beet which help your dog to have a better immune system and to be better inside. I am sorry, I have not could check if my dog is better inside. It is very dark inside of a dog, everybody knows that. Imagine mine which is already black…

So, yes, please. If you want to protect your dog give up to that fashion trends with scary white outfits and start to feed it right. It is the only thing you really need. Seriously, the prevention white outfit it is not necessary. Because, after all, our most “loyal friends” are our superheroes and everybody needs a superhero in their life in some occasions. If it is your superhero, why do not you care of your dog as he/she would do for you? Be a superhero to your superhero. Peace and Love.